Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced.— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) April 3, 2012...

You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40yrs and still can't conjugate verbs.— Annabel Oakes (@annabeloakes) August 22, 2012...

I wish there were gloryholes for hugs.— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 3, 2012...

Marriage: Because who wants to be wrong only some of the time?— DTelf (@DTelf) October 12, 2011...

Marriage is 60% compromise, 50% joy, 50%tears, and 100% insanity. If this math doesn't make sense to you, then neither will marriage.— Moiste Porque (@MoistPork) August 7, 2012...

Keep it down kids, daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet. bit.ly/NjFaVp @ryan9billion— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) August 9, 2012...

I want to be in a situation that allows me to slide across the hood of my car andwhisper menacingly... bit.ly/QWZkad @twinanator— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) August 5, 2012...

Accidentally bought tickets to Comma-con twaggies.com/2012/07/no-849… @ChaseMit— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 28, 2012...

Don't want to brag or make anyone jealous, but I can still fit into the earings I wore in High School. bit.ly/NDilgw @Soo_Scandalouss— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 14, 2012...

Movies are so unrealistic. This guy’s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once... bit.ly/MktXDr @AristotlesNZ— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 11, 2012...