No, no...THIS is a drug bust... *Uncovers a bust of Beethoven made out of cocaine*— LL Cool Tay (@freshestginger) June 4, 2013...

Say what you want about rotary phones. They hardly ever ended up in the toilet.— Peggy O'Brien (@notoriousPOB) November 17, 2012...

I wonder if I smell like an old person yet.— MOM! MOM! MOM! (@GetUrOwnCoffee) May 30, 2013 You can buy this, and most Twaggies images, as shirts and prints, right down this way....

I can name more Star Wars planets than U.S. presidents.— Matt Wilkie (@WritingWilkie) May 23, 2013...

I'm like a cartoon character, not because I'm cute or funny, but because I wear the same clothes every day.— Peach Ring2 (@LilFlaOrange30) April 30, 2013...

My sunglasses are either broke or lost at all times and cheap as hell to begin with. I am my sunglasses.— tony logan (@tnylgn) May 7, 2013...

1. Pick jeans to wear2. Pull them up to thighs3. Pants dance for 3 minutes4. Take pants off5. Put sweatpants on6. Cry, eat pumpkin pie— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) November 8, 2012...

I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time.— Get Cougarized (@GetCougarized) March 25, 2012...

Like a battered wife, I glance at the supermarket $5 DVD bin hoping this time will be different.— Ed Daly (@ezeddaly) March 15, 2012...

I'm drawing a chalk outline around my sex life.— Pax Paxochka (@Paxochka) February 20, 2013...