"Welcome to the underbelly of ping-pong where fortunes are won and lost. I'm exagerrating, of course, but you get my point," said ping pong guru and noodle shop owner Master Wong in the best ping-pong film of all times*, Balls of Fury (2007)

*probably by default, I can't think of another ping pong movie.

And what better ping pong paddles to use in such unsanctioned, underground, and unhinged world of extreme ping pong than these custom steak and eggs paddles designed by Igor Mitin (previously on Neatorama)?

Mitin has a few more funny ping pong paddles over at his Behance page:

Graphic designer by day and doodler by night Alyssa Duhe is also a connoisseur of punny pick up lines. And thanks to her Tumblr A Daily Pickup Line, in which she illustrates some of the worlds corniest (read: best) pickup lines, we get to enjoy them as well.

Here are a few of my favorite science-based pickup lines:

Photo: Jorge Silva/Reuters - via Citylab

Why drive your car when you AND your car can take the bus? REUTERS photographer Jorge Silva took this photo above of buses loaded up with car(go) in Kandahar, Afghanistan back in May 2009.

Photo: Shamil Zhumatov/Reuters

It seems to be a routine affair for Afghan travelers to load up their cars on top of buses. This one above is another example taken in Maidan Shahr, Wardak Province, Afghanistan.

I wonder how they got those cars up there ... and how they'll take them back down.

Image: Lucasarts Entertainment, by Kai Lim

Like Jar Jar Binks said himself, "Mesa day startin pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM!" Singaporean artist Kai Lim (ukitakumuki on deviantArt) got Jar Jar what's comin' to him, via a powerful elbow to the face delivered by a Stim Armor, in this illustration for Star Wars Galaxies Trading Card.

Check out the rest of Lim's fantastic artwork over at his deviantArt page.

Redditor loblawlawblog snapped this funny bar sign outside The Nook in Austin, Texas, on how to twerk. Step 1: Reconsider. There is no step 2, by the way.

You know what they say, forbidden fruit never tasted so ... photogenic? Artist Kyle Bean (previously on Neatorama) collaborated with photographer Aaron Tilley and stylist David Bradley to create this tongue-in-cheek series of forbidden fruit for The Gourmand.

View more over at Kyle Bean's official website - via Photojojo

Graphic designer and illustrator Jaco Haasbroek perfectly captured the essence of being a kid in this clever image. So, do you see the "kid" in the image above? Hint: the "i" in the "kid" is the eye.

View more of Haasbroek's clever images over at his website - via Typeverything

So that's why they're so happy when you come home! They're just glad that you're alive (to feed them)! Conrad over at Shoebox Blog illustrated what your dogs are like all day, every day when you're away. Of course, Skeeter is the instigator because, you know, corgis are sooo paranoid.

It’s nice to see that a dollar is worth 120¢! This breakdown is sourced from the American Banker’s Association Education Foundation, although they would probably blame the graphic on Gannett News Service.

Even if it were corrected to charity at 10¢, who is this aimed at? Children? What investment opportunities do they have? Banks won’t even give kids a checking account until they turn 18 -at which point they suddenly offer them tons of credit cards. If this is aimed at adults, I can safely say that anyone who can survive on only 30% of their income already knows more about money than I ever will. -via Bad Newspaper

Photo: Xposure/ Metro screencap via Metro

... and then he went home alone (hah!)

You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?

Okay, you asked for it! According to Manchester Evening News, the Home Alone child star Macaulay Culkin played his first gig at the Zoo pub in Manchester, England, with his band The Pizza Underground (previously on Neatorama):

Performing in front of a screen displaying pictures of cheese and pepperoni, Culkin and his bandmates turned All Tomorrow's Parties, I'm Waiting for the Man and Take a Walk on the Wild Side into All Pizza Parties, I'm Waiting for Delivery Man, and Take a Bite of the Wild Slice.

Alessandro Lima, who was in the crowd, said: "It was the weirdest thing I've ever watched. It was just bizarre."

But everything wasn't all peachy when someone at the audience threw glasses at Culkin. Shortly afterwards, the former child star stormed off the stage when someone rudely interrupted his kazoo solo (you can't make this stuff up!).

If you're curious, here's a clip of Culkin performing his kazoo solo at another gig in London. I'm mesmerized to see that his kazoo is shaped like a small trombone:

via Imgur

Can't blame the Jedi master. After all, if you're 800 years old, you're bound to have a few moments of youthful indiscretion! Yoda does look suspiciously like Greta, the female Gremlin from Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

via Huffington Post and Imgur

The Final Jeopardy clue was "In 1891, this European said, 'Perhaps my factories will put an end to war sooner than your congresses.'"

Welp, Upright Citizens Brigade Comedy performer Ari Voukydis didn't know the right answer, so he did something even better: he gave the best Final Jeopardy answer ever! Voukydis didn't win the game , but he certainly won America's heart.

Here's the video of moment (fast forward to 18:00)

via Reddit

In the lawn care industry, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups, the landscaper and the gardeners. This is their truck. With a motto like "Where we lay down the lawn," is it any wonder that Lawn Order: Special Sprinkler Unit is highly sod after?

I wonder if their horn sounds like the "dun dun" from the TV show Law & Order.

Apparently, parody of the TV show is quite popular in the lawn care industry, for obvious reasons I suppose. Here are two more:

via Cheezburger

via Imgur

A landscape design company in Nashville, Tennessee

When redditor Robimus asked his Japanese junior high school students to write an essay on what they'd do if shipwrecked on a deserted island, one student submitted this:

We will enjoy swimming, because it's fun to swim.
We will do my homework, because it's fun to do homework.
We will play soccer, because it's fun to play soccer.
We will wait for death, because can't do anything.

Those Asians. Notice that they'd do homework before waiting for death.

via Reddit

Now that's how you decorate a club! The ghettoblaster boombox front doors of the The Music Room in downtown Atlanta, Georgia, certainly goes to 11!

Note that they've got Good and Evil perfectly balanced:

And like all good club, you've got to turn up the trouble a bit:

And are they only open from 9am to 5pm?