Houston, we have a problem! There's a turd floating in space.

In 1969, during the Apollo 10 moon mission something went awry. In this declassified log of the fourth manned mission to the Moon, astronauts Thomas P. Stafford, John W. Young, and Eugene A. Cernan had to deal with some, um, toilet malfunctions that resulted in UFO (Unidentified Fecal Object) floating in zero G in the spaceship.

It was humanity's first close encounter of the turd kind. (On a side note: we now learn that astronauts curse. A lot.)

Some complaint departments ask you to take a number, but this one at a local sandwich shop asks you to press button for service. If you do so, soon you'll have two complaints to report.

No Free WiFi. Talk to Each Other and Get Drunk.

Restaurants and bars usually advertise free wi-fi to attract patrons, but not the Shim Sham Room in Jacksonville, Florida. They advertise the exact opposite: no free wi-fi, so you have to communicate with other people the old fashioned way. For some, getting drunk helps with that.

Now that's a master thief. Feast your eyes on this poster, which notes that the thief stole the original picture of him stealing, before it gets stolen. Again.

Well, no wonder those onions always make you cry. The accursed onions of doom were spotted by our very own Miss Cellania. Cut them and weep!

Poor Waldo. We always ask where he is, but never how he's doing, as illustrated by this clever 2011 New Yorker cartoon by Paul Noth. The next question we don't ask is what's Waldo drinking, because the answer is just too depressing.

Tired of taking care of your husband? Drop him off at the Pickwick Tavern's Husband Creche (that's British English for daycare). "Leave him here and collect him later! This is a free service, just pay for his drinks! 20 years of care and we've never lost one yet!!" the sign says. Now how can you pass this up?

via I Love Star Wars

A long time ago in a pool far, far away ... it is a period of summer time activities. Rebel spaceships, floating in a backyard pool, have won their first victory against the hot days of summer.

So, which one would you choose?

If you're not allowed to help yourself to the self-help shelf, doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of self-help? Redditor al_ien5000 reports this conflicting message at a local bookstore, where the self-help books are located on a top shelf where bookstore assistance is required.

Now, what kind of self-help do you think Shakespeare can provide?

Some artists paint on canvas, others sculpt with clay, but not Rob the Original! The San Antonio, Texas-based master barber is a hair artist (or perhaps we should just call him the "hairtist"?). Check out what the man could do with a pair of scissors and a head of hair:

I see the NYT has taken to Voxplaining things for the millennials. @voxdotcom pic.twitter.com/hSACFK0mQR

— anibundel (@anibundel) July 5, 2014

Eventually, some teenager will see a classic Superman comic in which Clark Kent changes into his costume. "What is that thing? Some transportation device?"

The phone booth in question is in Prairie Grove, Arkansas. It's a curiousity that was recently hit by a car and badly damaged. There's an online campaign to rebuild the antique and return it to active service, where it earns the local phone company a few dollars a year.

Afro Taino by Gabriel Abreu in San Cristobal, Dominican Republic

Great graffiti happens when the artists don't get stumped. Instead, they go out on a limb to incorporate site-specific elements into their artwork (What? Yew don't like tree graffitis or tree puns? Ya poor sap - Just leaf now)

Here are some poplar examples of great tree graffiti (or should we call them graffitree?)

Nuxono Xän, Fort de France, Martinique

Forget comb! If you have hair this big, you'd need a rake! Street artist Nuxono Xän added a humorous touch to this wall in Fort de France, Martinique. Photo by Rosali Rodriguez - via Street Art Utopia.

What? You think those Disney Princesses look fabulous without a little Photoshop help?

Jen Lewis of Buzzfeed showed us the cold, hard facts of the pervasive use of Photoshop in the unforgiving life of celebrities, where even fictional animated ones like Disney Princesses are under extreme pressure to look beautiful.

I suppose that a little Photoshop help isn't that big of a deal for Ariel (shown above). After all, didn't she undergo extreme surgery to get rid of that tail?

Here's a few more examples:

Jasmine: Covered Conjoined Head, Removed Sixth Finger

Cinderella: Removed Leno Chin, Tiny Hand, Tamed Sassy Eyebrow

Aurora: Flipped Upside Down Face

Belle: Fixed Lazy Eye

And Pocahontas, God bless her, is no longer Nick Cage:

View more over at Buzzfeed - via The Gloss

This restaurant sign, spotted by CryMeARiver_Song, asks "Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? The answer is literally, OMG, like the best thing evar! We just can't even.

via Fail Blog

When you're trying to educate guys about their health, it pays to speak their language. This humorous sign seen at a medical aid station of the Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run (mile 55 at Michigan Bluff) asks runners "what color is your pee" using various beer. If your pee looks like a pint of Guinness, you better see a doctor. Stat!