We've seen a lot of pizza/burger combinations, including a burger baked inside of a pizza and a pizza inside of a burger inside of a pizza, but for most people, making these outrageous pizza creations is just too crazy. On the other hand, following these instructions from Oh Bite It to make a burger with a Hot Pocket inside seems pretty straight forward -and best of all, you can switch it up to have a burger stuffed with turkey, broccoli and cheddar or hickory ham and cheddar -or whatever your favorite Hot Pocket flavor happens to be.
The State Fair of Texas opens September 29 and runs through October 22. But competition is already underway among concessionaires for the Big Tex Choice Awards for the best state fair foods. Winners will be crowned August 27. Texas Monthly runs down the ten finalists with a fictional tasting. Here's what they had to say about deep-fried chicken noodle soup on a stick.
“There’s been a mistake,” said the man. He hoped it was a mistake.
“What do you mean?”
“Says here this is soup. I don’t see no soup.”
“The soup’s in the little balls,” said the woman. “You can try it if you want. I won’t ask for payment. Not for you.”
The man wavered. It felt like an insult, but his curiosity was potent. He looked at the stick of fried dough encasing the soup like a funeral shroud and took his hand out of his duster. The woman took a step forward and gently offered him the stick. He took the stick, but he didn’t eat it.
Editor’s note: Please pay the State Fair vendors, and absolutely try the deep-fried chicken noodle soup on a stick.
See what they think of the Surfin’ Turfin’ Tator Boat, the Tamale Donut, the Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger, the Fried Texas Sheet Cake, the Gulf Coast Fish Bowl, Pinot Noir Popcorn, Texas Fajita Fries, Deep Fried Froot Loops®, and something called a Fat Smooth, all at Texas Monthly. -Thanks, Walter!
Piescrapers are the perfect combination of food art and flavor fusion, and the recent wave of piescraper mania has been attributed to one woman- Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin, founder of Pies Are Awesome.
Jessica came up with the idea for her multi-layered pies after deciding to give up sugar for a year, her craving for desserts leading her to recipes for sugar free fruit pies and a dessert history lesson:
"In Tudor times and Medieval times, pies used to be really complicated and tall. They were a central feature at all sorts of events," she explained excitedly. "I realized that now, pies just aren't treated the same way as other desserts in terms of pop culture representation and other interesting techniques. I wanted to see if I could do something about that."
The vertical element came into play when she began thinking about the wedding possibilities for these intricate pies.
"A lot of people really want pies at their weddings instead of cake, but they end up going with cakes anyway," she explained. "Because of the low profile of pies, they just don't look as great on the buffet table. So I started thinking, how can I build them up?"
But making a wedding cake-inspired tower of pies was easier said than done:
"It was pretty hilarious, actually," she admitted. "Finally, I hit upon a way to stabilize different tiers using techniques from paper sculpture, another hobby of mine. I realized how to double up certain layers of dough with egg in the middle, allowing me to push these experiments higher and higher."
An article earlier this summer hinted that the defining factor in the development of Texas chili is chili powder, but the ingredient that makes chili a Tex-Mex dish is cumin, a spice imported from the Old World. Chili con carne is the crowning achievement of San Antonio cuisine. Most historians date its origin to 1880, with the rise of the "chili queens" that sold the dish to the public in outdoor stands. But that date is an function of the name chili con carne existing in published sources. A stew of meat and chili peppers had been around long before that. So how do you define chili con carne in order to find its origin? An article at Texas Monthly gives some of the conflicting origin stories, including one that goes back as far as an uprising in 1813. It was another in the long line of wars fought over Texas.
Most of that, save for the two post-San Jacinto Mexican incursions, is well known. Far fewer people remember the troubles of 1811 and 1813, even though the latter of those conflicts featured the bloodiest battle ever fought on Texas soil, and, according to San Antonio tradition, produced the first Chili Queen.
Were it not for the fact that the (partially) American side lost in ignominious fashion, movies would have been made about the Gutierrez-Magee Expedition of 1812 to 1813.
Encouraged by the near-success of the 1811 Casas Revolt in San Antonio, and with covert support from Washington, D.C., Spanish Texan revolutionaries traveled to Louisiana and enlisted Anglo and Louisiana Creole soldiers of fortune in a joint “Republican Army of the North” to sever Texas from Madrid for good. (The Spanish and Anglo contingents had different plans—the former wanted Texas as part of a free Mexico, while the latter preferred annexation to the U.S., or perhaps an independent republic as envisioned by Aaron Burr. It seems both sides agreed to set that matter aside until they had seized Texas.)
Every state has added something unique to the American culinary landscape, whether it be a classic sauce, a popular chain restaurant or even distinct sandwich. Over on Thrillist, you can read about the best culinary invention created by each state. Granted, it might seem a little weird to claim a state's best innovention is a potato or crab legs, but it's more about what they helped popularize as a dining option -not just new recipes.
Cohen also knows that the process can be tedious, even on video, so as the candy is being cooled, pulled, shaped, and pulled again, he tells us everything he knows about bananas. Like, how they are cultivated, the internal structure of a banana, and why banana candy usually doesn't taste like a banana. The candy factory is also a soda fountain called Lofty Pursuits in Tallahassee, Florida, so Cohen is fairly enamored of the bananas he uses for banana splits.
The old adage "wine gets better with age" should be followed up with a "but only if..." to clarify the real rules of aging wine, so people who buy into the adage don't go looking for ancient bottles of wine to open.
A 1.5 liter “glass vessel with amphora-like sturdy shoulders” in the shape of dolphins, the bottle is of no use to its owner, but no one is certain what would happen to the liquid if it were exposed to air, so it stays sealed, its thick stopper of wax and olive oil maintaining an impressively hermetic environment. Scientists can only speculate that the liquid inside has probably lost most of its ethanol content. But the bottle still contains a good amount of wine, “diluted with a mix of various herbs.”
The Römerwein resides at the Historical Museum of the Palatinate in Speyer, which seems like an incredibly fascinating place if you happen to be passing through. You won’t get to taste ancient Roman wine there, but you may, perhaps, if you travel to the University of Catania in Sicily where in 2013, scientists recreated ancient wine-making techniques, set up a vineyard, and followed the old ways to the letter, using wooden tools and strips of cane to tie their vines.
Sweet treats, often including a very specific type of cake, are a near-universal part of a wedding celebration. We are used to the traditional tall wedding cake in America, and we've posted many modern interpretations. Wedding cakes and their traditions vary widely in other countries.
At weddings in France and parts of Belgium the croquembouche is served. The name croquembouche derives from the French “croque en bouche” meaning crack in mouth. This is apt as croquembouche is a tall, conical structure of cream-filled pastry buns enveloped in hard sugar. On top of the croquembouche are a set of figurines symbolizing the newlyweds. Similar to a croquembouche are the Icelandic wedding cake known as kransakaka and the Danish kransekage. These are wreath cakes consisting of multiple almond pastry rings of decreasing size placed one atop the other to form a cone of cakes. Each ring cake is decorated with white icing and the whole cake is filled with confectionary. According to Danish tradition the newlyweds should remove the top layer with the number of layers that adhere to it indicating how many children the couple will have.
Lunchables weren't exactly what you'd call a healthy lunch when they first came out, and many kids who brought Lunchables to school were still hungry afterwards, unlike those of us who brown bagged it or ate a hot lunch.
But the concept behind Lunchables is solid, and as adults we often eat food much worse than Lunchables on a daily basis, so maybe it's time to let the Lunchables back into our lives- after an adult makeover.
Skillet's Claire Lower makes a great argument for why we should start making adult Lunchables, but first the rules of Lunchables:
The contents within must require no cooking, and must be able to be eaten as-is without further prep, preferably without utensils.
The various foods within must be able to be combined with every other food contained within the Lunchable in a pleasing way, the only exception being the optional dessert, which should be consumed last. (And should, preferably, be an Oreo cookie or a fun-size Snickers bar.)
The food stuffs within must be compartmentalized neatly, and in a way that almost whispers to the consumer “Hush now, you are safe. There is order in this world after all.”
And here are some of Claire's tasty ideas that will make you want to buy a bento box and start bringing your own adult Lunchables to work every day:
Salami + rounds of crusty bread + shards of Parm + grapes
Anthony Bourdain has hung out with many of the top chefs in the world and eaten their amazing food too, and his culinary adventures have made him a bit of an expert on international cuisine.
One of Anthony's all time favorite foods is sushi, a taste for which he developed while hanging out at the bar at Sushi Yasuda in New York City, where he met and became friends with legendary sushi master Naomichi Yasuda.
So when Bourdain tells you what not to do at a real sushi bar you should heed his advice- or risk pissing off your sushi chef. Here are Bourdain's six punishable by death sushi bar don'ts:
1. Do Not:Make a slurry with all the wasabi and soy sauce you can get your hands on and then douse your fish with it. Make sure to taste your fish first.
2. Do Not: Dip your sushi rice down into the soy sauce—“unless you want to watch your rice crumble and disintegrate into an unholy mess in the wasabi slurry that you probably already made.” If you feel your sushi needs soy, lightly dip it fish side down.
3. Do Not: Say loudly, "This sushi is so fresh, dude." Unless you’re in a place where that concept would even be in question.
4. Do Not: Consider a sushi selection that includes mayonnaise. “Don’t get me wrong, I love mayo. Tuna salad on white bread is our version of Edo-style sushi. But it belongs nowhere near raw fish.”
5. Do Not: Mistake a lame pan-Asian place for a sushi spot. “You know the ones; unst, unst, unst music is playing in the background, edamame comes with a cloud of dry ice. A great sushi bar is like the perfect Irish pub. You make decisions with your sushi chef, with your bartender, over the course of the night, and you leave feeling extremely well cared for.” 6. Do Not: Order a California Roll. No explanation necessary.
I think of Bourdain's advice every time I make a wasabi-soy slurry and soak my California Roll in it...
Taco Bell is known for creating crazy foods, but it's one thing to make a taco shell out of a piece of fried chicken and a whole different thing to add spicy Pop Rocks to a burrito -and that's just what they've started doing. The new creation, called the Firecracker Burrito is only available at four test locations in Orange County and it features rice, nacho cheese, sour cream, beef, and red tortilla strips. What makes it truly bizarro though is the option to get a side of "popping crystals," which are essentially chili-flavored Pop Rocks that give it a "sweet-spicy flavor along with a fizzy texture," according to Foodbeast.
Personally, I'll take my candy far away from my burritos, thanks.
Most chefs aren't anything like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld, so they'll be accommodating to customers and customize their orders so they leave full and happy with their dining experience.
But everyone who works in the food service industry knows it's tough to deal with customers who are really dumb, really demanding and really cheap, three of the worst qualities in a diner.
My personal favourite was a banquet order for a Caesar's salad (for a party of about 100 people) that, 20 minutes before plating, was updated saying that the Caesar dressing couldn't have anchovies, garlic, or egg. What do you even say to that?
Will
Well-done steak tartare.
Ramiro Exposito Gaspe
Paella without rice please.
And then there are those weirdos who don't understand how food allergies or diet restrictions work:
Just Jim
"I'm very allergic to garlic, is there any in the special?" "Yes, there is a little" "Well, as long as I can't see it I'll be okay. I'll have the special."
RAS1187
Order for well done burger. Not unusual, but the guest told the server, "My doctor told me I can't have any red meat" and was dead serious.
Just Jim
"Can I get the special with fettuccine? I'm allergic to penne." "You're allergic to a shape?"
But the worst diners of all are those lunatics who don't understand how food works at all. What planet are these crazy people from?:
Colomboshute
Today's special was sirloin a la plancha and a customer asked my wife if we could make it vegetarian...
Recky
Customer complains after eating her omelette that the menu didn't explicitly state that it contained “so much egg...”
RAS1187
French onion soup, no onions.
Locomoco
The other day I got a ticket that read: “Cheese plate (no dairy).”
Real food fans know that Cheetos are one of the finer things in life and now, for three glorious days (August 15-17), the snack food company itself will be running a restaurant in New York, called the Spotted Cheetah, where every item features some kind of Cheetos product. The menu consists of:
Cheetos Crusted Fried Pickles; Creamy Ranch, Cheetos Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup; Cheetos Meatballs; Purrfectly Fried Green Tomatoes (breaded with White Cheddar Cheetos crust); Flamin' Hot and White Cheddar Mac n' Cheetos; Cheetos Mix-ups Crusted Chicken Milanese; Spicy Cheetos Nachos; and Flamin' Hot Limon Chicken Tacos.
But save room for dessert, which consists of Cheetos Sweetos Crusted Cheesecake; Cheetos Sweetos Sweet and Salty Cookies; and White Cheddar Cheetos and Cheetos Sweetos Apple Crepes. Those might sound strange, but if you've had the Cheetos Sweetos, you already know how sweet Cheetos are surprisingly tasty.
During World War I, the military needed enough food to fight, and civilians back home sacrificed so that they had it. But there weren't any treats. In fact, ice cream was considered "not essential," so the sugar that would have gone into its manufacture was diverted elsewhere, despite the pleas of the ice cream industry. That would change drastically over the next two decades, as Americans turned to ice cream during Prohibition as a substitute for alcohol, and then during the Great Depression as a rare affordable treat. Ice cream came to be associated with the American way of life. So when the U.S. joined in World War II, ice cream went with them.
In 1942, as Japanese torpedoes slowly sank the U.S.S. Lexington, then the second-largest aircraft carrier in the Navy’s arsenal, the crew abandoned ship—but not before breaking into the freezer and eating all the ice cream. Survivors describe scooping ice cream into their helmets and licking them clean before lowering themselves into the Pacific. By 1943, American heavy-bomber crews figured out they could make ice cream over enemy territory by strapping buckets of mix to the rear gunner’s compartment before missions. By the time they landed, the custard would have frozen at altitude and been churned smooth by engine vibrations and turbulence—if not machine-gun fire and midair explosions. Soldiers on the ground reported mixing snow and melted chocolate bars in helmets to improvise a chocolate sorbet.
Vitaly says he loves science, but he really, really loves cotton candy! In this video, he wordlessly shows us how to make it at home without a cotton candy machine. You'll need a cardboard box (let's hope it's clean), a jar lid, a soda can, and some tools. And sugar.
If this looks like too much effort, he will also show you how to repurpose a blender to make cotton candy, or the power drill you already used. And how to build your own cotton candy machine. Just be prepared to clean sugar off every surface of the kitchen before you get the hang of it. -Thanks, Tracey!
