Don't Eat That, John! -- The Taco Bell Doritos Taco Smoothie

Taco Bell's line of taco shells made with Doritos flavors are, of course, awesome. That's why Taco Bell has been able to sell half a billion of them. Not everything in life (e.g. cars, houses, in-laws) comes in delicious Doritos flavors, but tacos do. There's just one problem with Doritos Locos Tacos: they're not the healthiest of foods.

Let's fix that. Inspired by a tweet by Robb Allen, I'll show you how to make these tacos into vegan smoothies.

I made two smoothies, one for each of the two flavors in which Taco Bell offers these culinary delights: nacho cheese and cool ranch. Both flavors used the same smoothie ingredients:

• 1 cup of organic soy milk
• 1 cup of diced pineapple
• 5 large strawberries
• 1/4 cup of frozen blueberries
• 1 whole banana
• 1 teaspoon of Chia seed

Chia seed or salvia hispanica is, yes, the same plant used to make Chia Pets. While it can be used for household decoration, chia seed is also an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acid, protein and fiber. It's a popular ingredient in vegan cuisine.

Is this a vegan dish? Well, let's say that the Taco Bell Doritos Taco Smoothie is veganish. Certainly a majority of the content of each smoothie consists of vegan products.

Your own smoothie ingredients may vary. Although I resorted to frozen blueberries, it's best to use, whenever possible, fresh fruit and entirely organic products. Remember that your goal is to eat healthily.

Okay, let's get started. Wait until your wife isn't home, swear your children to secrecy and then add the smoothie ingredients to a blender.

Next, add the taco and blend.

Pour the smoothie mixture into cups, add garnish and serve. The nacho cheese flavor, I found, nicely complements the soy milk.

Now let's try the cool ranch flavor.

The cool ranch flavor was even better than the nacho cheese! The ingredients seemed to match each other perfectly, as though this is why Doritos had been invented in 1964.

What's next? In order to get a truly fresh smoothie, I should take my blender and the ingredients to a Taco Bell and try to make one on-site.

Readers, what culinary monstrosity should I make next?