The Script For Ghostbusters Rewritten As Shakespearean Prose

Ghostbusters is a timeless film in the sense that people are going to enjoy watching it forever, but it will also forever be associated with the 1980s, so in that sense Ghostbusters is timelessly 80s.

But is the tale of four guys who use science to bust the supernatural timeless enough to translate into Shakespearean speak without missing a beat?

Artist and writer of geeky adaptations Jordan Monsell seems to think so, and his new book Ministers Of Grace: The Unauthorized Shakespearean Parody Of Ghostbusters channels The Bard for those who were bored while reading Hamlet or MacBeth.

Here's a taste:

INNKEEPER

I humbly thank thee gentles for thy speed. Our guests grow anxious by the hour and start To question me for reasons have I none.

RAY

Hath it appeared ere now?

INNKEEPER

The eldest servants know of higher floor The strange impatience, I do mean to say Though stirred it not these past five moons till late. And ne’re did carry on as violently.

EGON

Did’st thou make report to any soul?

INNKEEPER

Nay! Good heavens! We do not speak of it. I wish it were removed before the dawn.

RAY

Verily. Now peace good sir. Custom hath made it in we a property of easiness.

Exit INNKEEPER

MAN AT STAIRS

What be you, a Muscovite?

PETER

Nay, we be extirpators. A rat a man did see on floors above and called upon us.

MAN

An unholy size this rat must be.

PETER

‘Twould take this from this, sirrah.

RAY

Wilt thou follow?

MAN

I’d rather keep my head to chew and swallow.

RAY

It hath occurred to me of late that a successful trial of our weapons have we not.

EGON

I do accuse myself.

PETER

As do I.

RAY

The fault, dear Egon, is not in our stars but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

PETER

Wherefore be troubled? For upon our backs have we unlicensed boxes of rough magic.

RAY

Agreed. Are we content?

EGON charges RAY’s pack, then backs away.

-Via GeekTyrant