10 Things That Prove The Zombie Craze Has Gone Too Far
It all started with George Romero’s classic film about the dead coming back to life with a taste for the living, and since those Cold War days the zombie craze has gone from geek niche genre to overblown pop culture sensation.
Diggin' on zombie pop culture is fine, but when you start surrounding yourself with zombie themed merch you’ve proven that the zombie craze has gone too far!
1. Zombie Gnomes Eating Flamingo Lawn Ornament-
Zombie gnomes look pretty cool on your lawn around Halloween, but when those little bearded fiends are allowed to prey on innocent lawn flamingos the zombie gnome phenomenon has gone too far!
2. Snack Time Zombie baby prop-
Zombies are pretty much exclusively adult content, because rotting corpses rising from the dead to devour the living isn’t exactly the making of a kid friendly program, and yet kiddie zombie merch keeps rolling out.
In this case it’s the Snack Time Zombie, a prop shaped like a zombie baby chewing on itself, because what parent doesn't dream of having a zombie baby hanging around the house?!
3. Human Body Part Bakery-
People eating baked goods that look like people? It's zombie madness! Actually, they're just trying to fit in with their undead idols, which is just plain creepy. Even creepier- you can munch on this morbid bread made by Thai master butcher baker Kittiwat Unarrom even if you're a vegetarian!
We have yet to encounter any real zombies, besides tweekers and bath salt fiends who haven't slept for days, but when we do we’ll have all the Zombie Max ammo we need to send those rotters back to their graves!
However, releasing a line of flesh ripping ammo before the dead have begun to walk could spell trouble for the living when the line between fantasy and reality begins to blur...
5. Zombie slippers-
One of the grossest symptoms of zombie mania is when living folks try to make themselves look like the walking dead, and those mortality hating sickos will probably find these Zombie Feet sandals quite fashionable. They're also useful for making everyone assume your feet smell awful!
6. Zombie chocolate bunny-
There’s only one resurrected fellow rightfully associated with the Easter holiday, and that's the J-Man himself, so all other Easter related zombies aren't just tasteless- they're sacrilegious! I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "This chocolate bunny needs more blood...", but if you do there's a good chance that person has gone from chocoholic to full blown zombie mania, so proceed with caution...
7. Dead Island Riptide torso statue-
Wanna win the prize for sickest statuary in a geeky collection? You need this Dead Island Riptide statue of a shapely torso missing it's arms and head, so you can fit in with your beloved undead without actually harming another human being. However, anyone who sees this statue in person will probably wind up mentally scarred for life, so it's kinda like chewing on their brain!
8. Walking Dead Christmas stuff-
When zombies threaten your lives you fight back, but when you deck your halls with the images of survivors of a zombie apocalypse that has yet to happen you're heading over the deep end...or you're a huge fan of The Walking Dead.
The Survive The Seasons Bundle will surely get some "ho-ho-holee cow!" responses from your fellow Dead heads, but can Christmas and zombies actually come together without either side losing its appeal? -Thanks Miss C!
9. Dried Zombie Skin-
Not sure if eating this product means eating like a zombie or actually chomping on the walking dead, but any way you look at it chewing on some green Dried Zombie Skin seems like a mighty tasteless way to snack. But hey- it's a lot less of a commitment to a role than actually eating another human being!
10. Zombie defense kits-
When people start preparing for an apocalyptic disaster that has yet to happen you know the craze has gone too far, and with every fad comes the inevitable flood of merch.
Zombie apocalypse merch comes in the form of survival kits big and small, from something to snack on while your fellow townies feed the undead herd to a full supply of weapons, survival gear and foodstuffs.
And then there's this ridiculous Zombie Defense Kit, which is marketed towards women and claims to be a self defense kit designed to help you avoid becoming zombie food. Of course, it’s only going to work if "zombies" is your pet name for living creeps, because last time I checked zombies weren’t vulnerable to pepper spray or an electric shock.
If you know someone who is in the grips of zombie mania keep calm and stay indoors, and beware of your buddies who bite!
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