The Man with the Yellow Hat Gets Therapy

(Image: HMH Books)

Curious George the monkey and the Man with the Yellow Hat have been together a long time. They've been close companions since 1941. But that doesn't mean that they have a healthy relationship.

Far from it. They have serious codependency problems which the Man in the Yellow Hat is only beginning to see. George, of course, is resisting. He doesn't want to join the Man at therapy, just as he's generally opposed to the Man with the Yellow Hat having any sort of meaningful relationship with anyone else. Devorah Blachor of McSweeney's Internet Tendency provides transcripts of the Man's discussions with his therapist:

OK, this time we went out of the house, so really, I’m making an effort here. I took Mrs. Needleman on a European-inspired champagne brunch cruise along the Hudson. What more could I have done, I ask you?

We were just passing Battery Park and had selected a bottle of Gewürztraminer to go with the lobster bisque when suddenly there was a commotion on the outdoor deck.

“Monkey overboard!” someone was shouting.

Well, of course it was George! But you know, I did specifically tell him to stay out of trouble. He promised that he’d be good, but it is easy for little monkeys to forget.

After they pulled George aboard I dried him and let him wear my yellow hat to cheer him up and before I knew it, he was playing the grand piano and juggling chocolate truffles. All the passengers were watching him and applauding. He was the belle of the ball—it was adorable. I think about an hour passed before I noticed that Mrs. Needleman wasn’t there. We found her at the Liberty Bar, already on her fourth gin rickey. It was pretty embarrassing, to tell you the truth. We had to send her home in a taxi after we docked.

No, I can’t leave him at home. That’s exactly what Papa used to do to me. Why, I could never do that to George.

-via Nag on the Lake