When You Don't Know Beans (or Bean Language)

Sometimes comedy arises from a simple unfamiliarity with certain terms, and that goes double for projects that aren't as common as they once were. Redditor kiley_marie bought a bag of dried 16-bean soup. The instructions began with "Rinse and sort beans in a large pot." Her question was, "Why put 16 types of beans in a bag and then tell me to sort them?!"

What one may not realize is that to "sort beans" means to check the contents to make sure there aren't rocks included in the bag. It can happen, although it is rare in this day and age. Still, one pebble can break a tooth when you're chewing on beans. You should also be on the alert for twigs, dirt clods, and insects, not to mention beans that don't look edible. All that is an artifact of the way beans are harvested by machine. But I don't sort them in a large pot because using a cookie sheet with a lip is easier.

On the one hand, someone who has never prepared dried beans wouldn't know this, but on the other hand, the very idea of sorting all 16 kinds of beans is funny. Kiley_marie knew what she was doing. I have to admit that I would be tempted to sort at least some beans in this manner to see if there were really 16 kinds. I only count 14 in this picture.  

(Image credit: kiley_marie)


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Since I don't know beans about beans it would be hard to sort them other than color and size. On the paper towel in the picture are three piles of off-white beans in different sizes. To me they would all be the same kind of bean. I suppose changing the instructions from sort to clean would be off-putting.
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