The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest invites aspiring writers to enter the first sentence of the worst novel ever written. Except that novel has not been written; only the first sentence is required. The contest honors the legacy of novelist Sir Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (pictured above) who famously began one of his books with "It was a dark and stormy night..." which continued with a paragraph-long run-on sentence that made little sense. We've been covering this contest for years. The 2024 Grand Prize went to Lawrence Person of Austin, Texas, for this entry.
She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.
That certainly draws a picture for us, although not an alluring one. Person's reaction to winning the award was, "Top of the world, ma. Top of the world…" There are also winners in various categories and plenty of Dishonorable Mentions that you should read at the winner's gallery. -via Metafilter