The Horror of the Midwest Goodbye

You've heard of the Irish goodbye, which is where you leave a party without telling anyone. It's not really Irish, and it was most likely universally developed to avoid the Midwest goodbye. In this skit from Charlie Berens (previously at Neatorama), the Midwest goodbye starts with "Welp, I spose..." and morphs into a never-ending horror of epic proportions.

Use this as a lesson. If you are planning to visit the Midwest for the holidays, it's always good to be prepared for what you will encounter. If conversation starts to lag during a gathering, all you have to do is act like you're leaving, and suddenly everyone has something important to tell you about. But you have to time it just right- always indicate your exit at least an hour before you need to be somewhere else. Now, if someone insists you take home some leftover glorified rice, I can't help you. -via reddit