The Astatotilapia burtoni. A species of cichlid fish. In this species, there are two types of males: the “leaders”, who are aggressive and territorial, and the “subordinates”, the weaker, non-territorial males. The former has the control on the group’s resources, territory, and space, and pushes everyone around. The latter, on the other hand… well, they just follow. Surprisingly, when it comes to complex tasks, it is not the “leaders” who wield much influence. Rather, it is the silent subordinate who has the greater influence. These were findings from a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences a few months ago.
"The same traits that make you powerful in one context can actively reduce your influence in others, especially contexts in which individuals are free to choose who to follow," writes Alex Jordan, the senior author of the study.
"More aggressive domineering personalities are most often in positions of power, but they may be least effective and have little influence when compared to their consensus-building coworkers."
When Polly found out about this study and its findings, she knew that she learned something very important.
… when it comes to staying focused and coming together to push through a challenge, to build the collaborative team needed to function well and improve despite adversity, those who adopt a less in-your-face approach might be the most effective.
As the assertive voice in her family, Polly is now trying her best to be the passive, yet powerful, voice, just like her husband.
I’m practicing this wait-and-see style more often now too. Learning to listen better. Pausing to think before I answer. Realizing, not everything requires my input or opinion. And that collaboration, particularly in family and friendships—really in any group where you need to come together to get through—makes things better for all.
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Like the fish, I imagine we all work better when we aren't pushed around, but when we are hungry for leadership, ready to be guided and led by people who respect others and leave room for others to collaborate and share. For other voices to be heard.
What are your thoughts about this one?
(Image Credit: Russell D. Fernald and Sabrina S. Burmeister/ Wikimedia Commons)