Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) November 12, 2018
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
Classic date trick.
wow huge congrats to toilet pic.twitter.com/nHIpiHBd3i
— becca t @ CALA 🌞 (@beccateeth) July 22, 2016
wow congrats
which auto response should i send back to my dentist? pic.twitter.com/eSmIz1OO7w
— corinne caputo (@corintellectual) December 5, 2018
auto response is key
now I'm falling asleep
— the library haunter 🎄🎅🦉 (@SketchesbyBoze) May 23, 2019
and she's calling a crab
and they're having a smoke
and he's wearing a hat pic.twitter.com/h8Kie9bVCs
Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine.
Which is the hardest for you to say:
— C🇦🇼 (@CA_AUA) September 16, 2019
1. I love you
2. I was wrong, I’m sorry
3. I need help
4. Worcestershire Sauce
5. I appreciate you
harder than you think
her: i’m in a sorority
— harvard graduate (@heelyfanaccount) October 14, 2019
me trying to impress her: *nervous* oh really i’m uh- i’m in a frat
her: is it kappa sig
me: *visibly sweating, has already forgotten what she said* ya im in peppa pig
No, no, no.
What’s fortnight
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) October 15, 2019
Yasss, Gaga.
me walking to my parents room at 2am telling them i threw up pic.twitter.com/cKUkWAUVFN
— Mør (@Moristiko) October 3, 2018
Yikes.
im crying im so happy for them pic.twitter.com/WNxmnQxswY
— lucas (@lostboy) April 2, 2018
They grow up so fast. *sheds tear*
so disappointed after seeing this photo & realizing that's a third llama in the back & not the arm of the right llama ringing a little bell pic.twitter.com/LM1yhbkW0M
— Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) September 12, 2017
Did you see it too?
My friend’s dog, Max, finally caught its tail, and then didn’t know what to do with itself anymore. pic.twitter.com/Cl2HOZimW0
— Tolkien Elf Not Christmas Elf Harrison H. Parker (@omw2innisfree) April 19, 2019
And last but not least, one of my personal favorites
-via BuzzFeed