When the cool fall winds start to roll in and the pumpkin spice starts to flow the Halloweenies crawl out of their crypts for the first time in months so they can gather supplies for All Hallows' Eve.
So if you see someone walking around town with a pumpkin on their head just smile and wave- and keep your hands off their candy.
Now that all the Halloween stores are open it's time to prepare for the big night, but if you're looking for an original costume idea don't bother heading to the Halloween stores- unless you're looking to go as the latest "IT" ghoul.
If you haven't started decorating for Halloween yet here's a clever life hack: just buy a drink and a pack of gum at CVS and you'll have enough receipt paper to decorate all the trees in your front yard!
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But they HAVE to use the long-discredited hockey stick model that the one true scientific authority tells them to use, otherwise they're being not just stupid, but evil. They're murdering millions of dollars in grant money! Don't you care about that?
FALSE. But by all means, continue your argument.
What a great idea that is.
I've always said: don't just let anyone measure stuff when they want to, there would be chaos. What we need is one government-authorized committee per thing to measure in the universe. And only when they're asked to by the government.
Also, don't let those "scientists" fool you with their statistical analysis and fancy "exponential growth" mumbo-jumbo! Everyone knows nature always behaves linearly. So be a real scientist: draw a straight line through a graph!
That's how science works, innit?