British student Liam Smyth has a first date story that beats all the others you've heard. Remember the famous Sure Lock ad in which a woman had to retrieve her own poo from a toilet? The toilets in Britain aren't quite as robust as American thrones. Anyway, Smyth's Tinder date found herself in the same situation when she went #2 at his home and it wouldn't flush down. She retrieved the contents of the bowl and threw it out the window. She calmed down and then confessed to Smyth.
“I was understandably concerned, and told her we would go outside, bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened.
“Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.
After Smyth notified the other residents of the house, for some reason, the woman decided she could climb into the gap and retrieve it herself. But then she got stuck in the window. That's where the firemen come in. You can read the entire story at the Bristol Post. Isn't it wonderful when your first date horror story makes it into the local paper? -via Metafilter
(Everyone else: read Stuart's comment out loud in a Christopher Walken voice. You'll laugh, too.)
I did have a girlfriend who left me a "present" in the loo. Apparently it got wedged on the u-bend and returned after she left. I remember having to push it and break it up with the toilet brush before the turd would move into the next life. It was abnormally big!
I'd not blame British plumping so much, as some people can do quite scary sized turds that would not go down fighting in any toilet in the world. This person just lacked common sense.