As toxic as some internet sites and forums can be these days, there's one thing you can learn from them: how not to argue your point. If you can look at what's happening in a particular argument, you can see what might be working and what's not helping at all. But since it's so difficult for us to remain calm and non-opinionated long enough to study such things, Jacob Andrews did it for us. One example of "you're not helping" is when someone tells another to calm down. Sure, it makes sense when you say it, but to the person hearing it, you've just invalidated their emotions and the importance of the subject. The result is they become less calm. Read the rest of the "don'ts" for arguing at College Humor.