Self-Proclaimed "Meanest Mom in the World" Throws away Kids' Ice Cream - Neatorama

(Photo: Calgary Reviews)

Jaime Primak Sullivan wants her three young children to learn good manners. So when they didn't thank a Dairy Queen server for giving them ice cream, she threw it in the trash. She writes on Facebook:

The young lady (maybe 17) handed each child their ice cream. Not one looked her in the eye. Not one said thank you. Not to her, not to me... So I waited. I counted to 10
in my head as they dug into their ice cream and the young lady just looked at me (probably because she thought I was hearing voices) and I watched as my children strolled out the door. I followed them outside where I calmly collected their ice creams and my kids watched in horror as I deposited them into the nearby garbage can. All 3 launched into mass hysteria. I waited. Quiet. Calm. When they realized I had something to say, they quieted down.
I explained that one day, if they were lucky, they would work a job like that young lady. And I would hope that people would see them. Really see them. Look them in the eye and say thank you. We are too old at 8/7/5 to move through our days without exercising manners and honestly basic human decency.
So today, I am the meanest mom in the world.

Sullivan's post has gone viral, gaining 49,000 shares so far. Some commenters think that she did exactly the right thing, giving her kids some tough love about being polite. But Ronda Robinson at PJ Media disagrees:

Good parenting does not include setting your children up to fail or engaging in public humiliation. Punishment should be reserved for crimes. It shouldn't be a punishable offense to not say "thank you" or to fail "see" a teenager behind the ice cream counter. These are traits of childish behavior at best, or failed parenting skills at worst, depending on the children.

What do you think?

-via Ed Driscoll

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

Did Sullivan respond appropriately to her children's discourtesy?

Neither in civil society or family should a punishment be given for breaking a rule that was not set earlier. Random punishments, or randomly severe punishments, undermine the authority and trust you have as a parent (or police).

Sure, sometimes taking away the favorite toy for a while may be the only option to make the kids think twice. But then you have to have a talk about how their actions led to your reaction. Family rules cannot be hundreds of paragraphs covering everything.

I think she just suddenly thought her kids were acting spoiled, but spoiling is her fault, and not theirs. She should've explained to them how angry she got and why, and then set the rule that next time it happens ...the ice cream goes in the bin.

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Where's the "Publicist creates viral post" poll option? ;-)

I'd suggest what she did was within the realm of personal parenting choices. I know the Internet demands we micromanage everyone but, contrary to popular belief, it's our choice to do so.

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I've done some pretty harsh things with my kids like this, even cancelled a birthday party once. But I always talked to them and gave them the chance to do the right thing first. My motto: "You can learn this the easy way or the hard way." Take my advice right now or suffer the consequences.

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Yes, it is not clear from the story whether Mom had instructed her kids previously about saying "please" and "thank you." From the context is sounds like she might have, but it is unclear. At any rate it's just an ice cream cone and the kids will get over it. They are already over it. so the internet's over the top reaction is unfortunately what we have all become accustomed to.

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Teaching good manners is extremely important, but this teaches kids that their parents' love is conditional on their behavior. Kids didn't say thank you? Take back their ice cream until they do. Have them walk back inside without the ice cream to say thank you, and then give it back to them. Don't waste the ice cream by throwing it in the trash. Some kids will get over it, but as a former sensitive child, stuff like this can build resentment towards a parent. Resentment is not respect.

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One day, if they're lucky, they'll work at Dairy Queen? Way to set high goals.
I'm also puzzled something that seem to have occurred (maybe she left this detail of her Facebook post): It seems she didn't purchase an ice cream for herself. So is she really healthy and she's trying to associate junk food with trauma? I don't get it.

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The biggest problem with kids, teens and young adults is no consequences for their actions. Whether it be basic manners or trying to do something beyond their capabilities we have helmeted and padded every sharp edge for them. I'm sure this mother had discussed the basics of please and thank you. When people wonder why, when and where we have gone wrong with "kids these days", we can trace it right back to time outs, trophies for everyone, and convincing kids they are special. Actions have consequences. Good or bad. And let them skin a knee or split a lip. They'll be more careful next time.

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I like to think people can do whatever they want, as long as they're willing to accept the consequences of their action. Or course, for that to work they have to be aware of the consequences.

If the Mom told them to say thank you and they didn't, throw out the ice cream. But if she was just standing there expecting the kids to read her mind, she went to far.

I agree with the Miss Robinson, this was a teaching moment, not an occasion to embarrass children, including the girl behind the counter.

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