Vampires on Bikini Beach

The following is an article from Uncle John’s All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader.

With the single possible exception of Sherlock Holmes, film historian David Skal writes, “Dracula has been depicted in film more times than almost any fictional being.” Here’s a look at some of the more unusual vampire movies that have been made.

Haunted Cop Shop (1984)
“When vampires invade a meat-packing plant, the elite Monster Police Squad is brought in to stop them. When the squad botches the job, the Police Commissioner bumps them down to foot patrol until the vampires attack the county hospital. Impressive special effects.” (The Illustrated Vampire Movie Guide)

The full movie is available at YouTube, in Chinese with no subtitles.

Little Red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb vs. the Monsters (1960)
“Little Red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb fight a vampire and a witch in a haunted forest! One of three Hood movies made the same year in Mexico and shipped up here like clockwork in the mid-60s to warp the minds of little kids whose parents wanted to go Christmas shopping.” (The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film)

The full movie is available at YouTube.

Planet of the Vampires (1965)
“Some astronauts crash land on a strange planet where the undead kill the living, only to discover that the alien-possessed vampiric survivors are preparing to land on another alien world- Earth!” (The Essential Monster Movie Guide)

The full movie is available at YouTube.

The Devil Bat (1940)
“Bela Lugosi plays a crazed scientist who trains bats to kill at the scent of a certain perfume.” (Halliwell’s Film and Video Guide)

The full movie is available at YouTube.

Dracula Blows His Cool (1982)
“Three voluptuous models and their photographer restore an ancient castle and open a disco in it. The vampire lurking about the castle welcomes the party with his fangs.” (Video Hound’s Golden Movie Retriever 2001)

The full movie is available at YouTube, in German with no subtitles. Age restricted; contains nudity and sex.

(YouTube link)

Samson vs. the Vampire Women (1961)
“Sexy vampire women keep muscular males slaves on slabs in their atmospheric crypt. Santo the silver-masked Mexican wrestling hero (called Samson in the dubbed version) defeats them all.” (The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film)

Vampires on Bikini Beach (1988)
“Californians save their beach from undesirable vampires.” (Is there some other kind?) (The Illustrated Vampire Movie Guide)

Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1965)
“The title says it all. Dracula travels to the Old West, anxious to put the bite on a pretty lady ranch owner. Her fiancé, the legendary Billy the Kid, steps in to save the girl from becoming a vampire herself. A classic.” (Video Hound’s Golden Movie Retriever)

The full movie is available at YouTube, in 6 parts starting here.

(YouTube link)

The Return of the Vampire (1943)
“Bela Lugosi plays Armand Tesla (basically Dracula under another name), who returns to claim a girl after ‘marking’ her when she was a child. But his assistant, the werewolf-with-a-heart, turns on him and drags him out into the sunlight, where he melts in spectacular fashion.” (Amazon Reviews)

Atom Age Vampire (1960)
“Badly dubbed Italian time waster with cheese-ball special effects and a tired premise. A mad professor restores the face of a scarred accident victim.” (Video Movie Guide)

The full movie is available at YouTube.

Haunted Cop Shop II (1986)
“This improved sequel to the 1984 original features non-stop action. The vampire creature is destroyed by the hero relieving himself into a swimming pool and completing an electrical circuit!”  (The Illustrated Vampire Movie Guide)

The full movie is available at YouTube, in six parts all in one playlist. This one has subtitles, in Chinese and English.

(YouTube link)

Blacula (1972)
“In 1815 in Transylvania, an African prince falls victim to Dracula. A hundred and fifty years later, his body is shipped to L.A. and accidentally revived. Jaded semi-spoof is notable chiefly as the first black horror film. The star’s performance is as stately as could be wished under the circumstances.” (Halliwell’s Film Guide)

For more about vampires in pop culture, see also:

Dracula: “I Vant to be a Star”

Bram Stoker's Dracula

The Lost Masterpiece

The Vampire Slayer

Coexistence of Vampires and Humans Is Possible: Proofs Based on Models Derived from Fiction, Television, and Film

The Granddaddy of Vampire Movies

_______________________________

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader. The 13th book in the series by the Bathroom Reader's Institute has 504 pages crammed with fun facts, including articles on the biggest movie bombs ever, the origin and unintended use of I.Q. test, and more.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!


I enjoy "Mark of the Vampire" with Bela Lugosi and a fairly good murder mystery story to it. It wasn't respected properly, like some other movies that have fallen and been forgotten, so any copy you can get will have been patched together in some small ways. Still... if you get a chance you might like this one. It's not a hokey film like a lot of these in this list.
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I don't remember how old I was, or any of the details, but I do remember watching Planet of the Vampires at a young age. Probably several times. Oh, the joys of independent TV stations back in the '70s/80s ...
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