Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website or at Facebook.
All of the following are actual injuries to major-league baseball players.
Babe Ruth knocked himself unconscious by running headfirst into a coconut palm tree in spring training, chasing after a fly ball.
Walter George “Jumbo" Brown, a 255-lb. pitcher for the Yankees, injured two of his teammates, putting them on the disabled list, when he played leap frog with them.
Tom Glavine broke a rib vomiting, after eating bad airplane food.
Denny McLain, a Detroit tigers pitcher, was trying to win his 30th game of the season. When he saw his team score the game-winning run, McLain excitedly jumped up, hit his head on the concrete dugout roof and knocked himself unconscious.
“Fat Freddie" Fitzsimmons smashed the fingers on his pitching arm when he fell asleep in a rocking chair. His fingers fell under the chair and he rocked over the hand, smashing his fingers.
Steve Sparks hurt himself ripping a phone book in half. He was out for the entire season from the injury.
Jim Palmer was removed from the pitching rotation because he hurt his neck sleeping on a pillow that "was too soft.”
Henry Cotto was cleaning his ear with a cotton swab in the dugout, when a teammate bumped into him, rupturing his eardrum.
John Smoltz tried ironing his shirt, while he was still wearing it. He burned his chest.
Joe Oliver cut his right hand (his pitching arm) while unloading a dishwasher.
Brian Anderson cut the middle finger on his pitching arm while opening a bottle of cologne.
Ricky Henderson got frostbite- in August.
Matt Anderson shredded a muscle in his right arm while throwing an octopus (!!) (??)
Greg Harris hurt his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds.
Nolan Ryan was bitten by a coyote.
Ted Williams, in a minor-league game, got furious after making an out. Angry, he smashed his hand through a glass water-cooler in the dugout. His arm was cut to shreds. The doctor later told him that if the glass had penetrated a fraction of an inch deeper, he would have cut open an artery and bled to death.