Working in the fast food industry means having the worst experiences with customers, feeling underappreciated, and discovering that you no longer like fast food because you're around it all the time.
A new hire's journey into the depths of Kentucky Fried madness started with a simple training video, a cheesy video entree that made new employees feel like dipping their heads in the fryer!
1. Hardee's "Your Reputation Is On The Line" (1988)-
Hardee's has a reputation for making high quality hamburgers quickly, so their employees are expected to put their reputations on the line every time they hand a burger to a hungry person.
As a new employee of Hardee's you're expected to follow sequence in order to preserve your reputation because "when we don't follow sequence we tend to get lost". Wait, is Hardee's actually a cult?
2. McDonald's "Clean It" (1984)-
When you want to encourage your employees to keep their McDonald's location spotless you offer up an incentive, and in the 80s the best(?) incentive was a visit from Michael Jackson!
Sadly, these employees never got to meet the real MJ, only a sad imitator who, admittedly, has some serious moonwalking skills and a sweet sparkly jumpsuit. Where's Ronald when you need him?
3. Chuck E. Cheese's University "The Character" (1991)-
People don't expect great pizza when they head out to Chuck E. Cheese's, but they do expect the main mouse himself to be on top of his mascot game.
For those who choose to don the sacred skin of Chuck E. their journey begins with this training video, a lesson in how to make the most of being "inside Chuck".
4. Del Taco Training Video (2013)-
Here's a totally hip and crazy current training video created for Del Taco, which proves that the cheese factor is still alive and well in the fast food training video industry.
It starts off rather ho-hum, but quickly turns into a riveting docu-drama when the beret clad director is introduced into the scene. I need a glass of water, because this training video is a Del Scorcho!
5. Godfather's Pizza "Training By The Slice: Welcome" (90s?)-
Godfather's Pizza never made it to the big leagues like their pizza pals Domino's and the Hut, but they had something those other chains couldn't touch- a Mafia godfather's blessing!
Apparently he also does all the training too, so slice those pies up good or you'll be sleepin' with the fishes.
6. Jack In The Box "Welcome To A Winning Team" (1985)-
Before Jack In The Box restaurants had Jack's overinflated head promoting their restaurants they had the faces of the employees themselves, and their fun little work costumes uniforms!
This training video from a laserdisc b-side is sorely in need of Jack's knack for comedy, although the fact that they call a microwave a "grill area" is pretty darn funny!
7. Wendy's "Grill Skills" (1989)-
Wanna make your training video hip and fresh for the incoming wave of young employees? Then you gotta add a rapper bustin' out a rap routine to your video, yo!
Wendy's was clearly trying to appeal to urban youth in this cheesy classic training video, because nothing says street cred like a little redheaded girl in pig tails.
(Fast forward to around 3:30 to see the rap attack portion of the video)
8. Burger King "Robbery Training Video" (1978)-
Even though this is merely a clip from a Burger King training video lost to time, it still has plenty of cinematic action, awkward situations and a riveting storyline involving crime and passion.
It's also sad to note that Uncle Fester turned to a life of crime after the Addam's Family was cancelled. I thought Gomez was a millionaire?!
9. McDonald's "Fast Food Training" (mid-80s)-
This video segment is special because it stars the extremely talented John Mahoney as the voice of the McDonald's corporation, teaching the new recruits how to hack it in the fast food game.
The general consensus seems to be that this is a comedy sketch created using the CEO's speech to the McDonald's franchise owners, but if you know where this sketch is from please fill us in so we can keep our bin levels at max!
10. ShowBiz Pizza Place "Artistic Director Training Video" (1987)-
Dining at ShowBiz Pizza Place was supposed to be a theatrical party experience, complete with pizza and animatronic animal bands, so naturally they hired an artistic director to make sure everything ran smoothly.
However, when the artistic director from corporate tells you to say lines like "You look like a sausage lover to me" or "you look like you can handle a large coke" to your customers it's probably best to ignore his advice and improvise your own cheesy lines.
Next time you go out and grab a bite to eat at a fast food restaurant have a little sympathy for the workers, because they've not only had to deal with crappy food and crappy customers- they were also forced to watch an utterly crappy training video!