How Elite Package Delivery Drivers Work

(Artist: unknown)

Remember that Sunday is Ninja Day. When a parcel delivery notification sticker suddenly and inexplicably appears on your door, take a moment to thank the unseen driver for his work, wherever he is. Getting past your sight invisibly isn’t easy, but he puts in the effort.

-via Tastefully Offensive


One of the advantages of living in a small town is that delivery guys will just leave a package by your door. Once I got home from work to find a large square box on my front porch that said "Apple" on the side. It was not orchard produce. You can't do that in a city.
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Or, in the case of British Gas - just don't turn up and don't apologise.
We stopped using them 14 years ago for doing that. The building I'm refurbishing needed a visit from them and three attempts later they finally turned up.
Confirms my original view - just sad that in 14 years they ain't got any better.
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The USPS is very sneaky. They will drop the package in front of my door, then disappear. I understand them not wanting to wait around for someone to answer the door, but they could at-least ring the bell before they leave.

Meanwhile, UPS drives me crazy with cryptic tracking messages... Every delay is recorded as a "Train derailment". I had endless problems with the first delivery failing with some "address does not exist" message (no note on door, no UPS truck ever reached my driveway), then getting delivered easily on the second "attempt". Calling UPS is like a playing 20 questions, with the guy on the phone having zero information, but deciding to run-down all the *conceivably possible* reasons the package might not have been delivered, as I knock-down every single one (No, I don't have a gate, no it wasn't snowing, no there isn't a dog, no the tag didn't blow away, etc.), and at the end, him just giving-up and saying he'll "leave a note" telling the delivery driver to *actually* try to deliver my package, next time around... Hrumph. Plus, UPS is the only one of the three that doesn't do Saturday deliveries, so anything needing a signature is lost to anyone working M-F, and keeping the shortest, least convenient office hours around here. Not to mention that the inside of their *dark brown* trucks get to be 200F degrees in the summer, so your package will be *well done* when you get it.

Fedex is okay, but has fewer offices, and divides them up, so my package is *never* at the FedEx office 5 minutes away, it's always at the other one, several cities over, 90 minutes away, that closes 15 minutes after I get off of work...
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