(Image: Medici Tigurini Historiae Animalium by Conrad Gesner)
The illustrious Dr. John Pechey was a member of the College of Physicians in London. His book A Plain Introduction to the Art of Physick explains how to treat colic effectively. As you might expect, you’ll need a duck:
If you apply a living Duck, the Feathers being pulled off behind, to the Stomach, it will ease the Pain of Cholick.
So, logically, if she weighs as much as a duck . . . .
-via Ask the Past
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You can also apply very small rocks to your belly.
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Build a bridge out of her!
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