For the optimal captaincy experience, add Captain Morgan to your Cap'N Crunch. Your ship won't go anywhere, but you'll have quite a trip.
As for Captain Boomerang . . . I've never been impressed or intimidated by him. He always talks a bigger game than he can dish out.
We are sober men and true, and attentive to our duty.
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Let's hear three cheers and one cheer more for the well-bred captain of the Pinafore!