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“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat?
Drive you into the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
No patriarch can guarantee a more rocky Christmas than Clark Griswold. He has a knack for trouble of all kinds. Close encounters with sexy lingerie saleswomen while Christmas b̶l̶o̶u̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ browsing. Sleazy, leisure-suited relatives who need a place to stay. Squirrels... indoors. Twenty-five thousand imported, Italian twinkle lights. A turkey as dry as the Sahara desert. It's always waiting for you On Demand or Netflix when you're duly traumatized by the December crowds and need to look at a comically dysfunctional Christmas to put things in perspective.
I've included some clips from this old holiday favorite; see the rest here. (Warning: NSFW, language.)
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"Looks great! Little full... lotta sap..."
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"It's a bit nipply out -- I mean nippy out! Hahaha! What did I say? Nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though..."