I missed this wonderful news story from a few days ago and some ladies missed a great opportunity. Nick Schimdt of Nashville, Tennessee placed an ad on Craigslist, offering to be some woman's Thanksgiving dinner date. Schmidt, a convicted felon and high school dropout, was prepared to pretend to be someone's boyfriend during Thanksgiving dinner:
I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.
In exchange for a free dinner, he would also:
- talk about politics and religion
- openly hit on other female guests
- pretend to get really drunk
- start a fistfight with a member of your family on the front lawn in full view of the neighbors
Prior to Thanksgiving, he told a reporter that he had secured a date. Schmidt promised to live-tweet the date, but the results of that date are unclear in his Twitter timeline.
We're a happy family. pic.twitter.com/Cwm5mBToua
— Nicky (@Nickyistaken) November 27, 2014It's now too late to have Thanksgiving dinner with Schmidt, but you can make use of his other services.
If anyone needs an officiate for their wedding, I also happen to be an ordained minister.
— Nicky (@Nickyistaken) November 29, 2014-via Tastefully Offensive