(Shakespeare Insult Wallet now on sale at the NeatoShop)
'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck!
Eventually, a modern rogue shall encounter that line, which is from William Shakespeare's play Henry IV, Part 1.
Edd Joseph of Bristol, UK attempted to purchase a PlayStation 3 game console online. The seller took his money, but never delivered the console. At first, Joseph thought that he was helpless. But now he's found a way to strike back at the villain. He has the seller's phone number, so Joseph is texting him the complete works of Shakespeare.
Joseph has an unlimited texting plan, so it doesn't cost him anything. He simply copies an entire play, then pastes it into a text message window. The texting program automatically breaks down the message into 160-character chunks, then sends them out. So the deadbeat's phone is probably buzzing constantly as it receives an estimated 29,305 text messages.
So far, Joseph has already sent 22 plays, including Othello, Hamlet and the Scottish play. The longest play, Hamlet, required 1,143 texts. How has the seller responded? The Bristol Post reports Edd has received abusive replies from the seller:
He said: "I got the first reply after an hour, and then a few more abusive messages after that. His phone must have been going off pretty constantly for hours.
"But recently he has taken to calling me and giving me abuse on the phone. I tried to ask him if he was enjoying the plays, but he was very confused. [...]
"I'm not a literary student, and I'm not an avid fan of Shakespeare but I've got a new appreciation you could say - especially for the long ones."
-via Marko Kloos