In the September 1925 issue of Photoplay magazine, silent film director Marshall Neilan conducted a tongue-in-cheek interview with himself. Almost 90 years later, nothing much has changed. Here's a sample:
Q. What are the essential qualities of a director?
A. The ability to convince producers that you are a better director than your pictures show you to be.
Q. How do you distinguish a director from mere mortals?
A. By the number of people to whom he does not speak. There was once a director who became so great that he forgot his wife’s first name.
You can see the entire article in a readable size at imgur, because you don’t want to miss the punch line. -via mental_floss