If you had the power to do so, how would you punish your enemies in ways that would not come across as creepy and disturbing if published openly? Doghouse Diaries has some good ideas.
A predisposition to hitting "reply" instead of "reply all" could also be annoying.
But stray LEGO pieces? That's just cruel. Those things hurt!
How about that 'May the bird of paradise fly up your nose; may your wife be plagued with runs in her hose; may an elephant caress you with its toes.' Always sort of liked that song! ;)