Did You Ever Notice…

Sometime the answer is irrelevant -it’s the question that counts.

(Image credit: Debivort)

“How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn’t have that dangerous beak.”

-Jack Handey     

“Why do people day, ‘It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys’? Have you ever smelled a barrel of monkeys?”

-Steve Bluestein     

“Why do people say 'It’s always in the last place you look’? Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?”

-Billy Connolly     

“If 95% of accidents happen within the home, where do homeless people go to have 95% of their accidents?”

-Strange de Jim     

“What’s the deal with lampshades? If it’s a lamp, why do you want shade?”

-Jerry Seinfeld     

“Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?”

-Peter Kay     

"Did you ever notice that people who say they don’t care what other people think are usually desperate to have some people think they don’t care what other people think?”

-George Carlin     

“Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don’t they just call that one the female?”

-Jim Gaffigan     

“What’s the shelf life of a shelf?”

-Jason Love

“Opening a can of worms? Do worms even come in cans?”

-Ellen DeGeneres    

“Why do men have nipples? They’re like plastic fruit.”

-Carol Leifer     

“At what age is it appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted?”

-Zach Galifianakis     

“Ever notice the first thing you see at an airport is a big sign that says TERMINAL? Have a nice flight.”

-Lewis Grizzard      

__________

This list is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!