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What Is It? game 294

It's once again time for our collaboration with the wonderfully entertaining What Is It? Blog. Do you know what the pictured items are? Can you make up something totally wacky? That's what we're looking for: the funniest and most creative guesses. We will award t-shirts from the NeatoShop to two commenters who post the cleverest, funniest, or most outlandish uses for this thing!

Place your guess in the comment section below. One guess per comment, please, though you can enter as many guesses as you'd like in separate comments. You have until Saturday this week to come up swith great guesses.

Please write your T-shirt selection alongside your guess. If you don't include a selection, you forfeit the prize, see? May we suggest the Science T-Shirt, Funny T-Shirt and Artist-Designed T-Shirts?

See, you don't have to know the answer to win! And remember, there are more mystery items to figure out at the What Is It? Blog. Good luck!

Update: it will be another day before the official answers are posted at the What Is it? blog, but since we wanted funny-but-wrong answers, we'll go ahead and award the winners. Erin Werra said, "These are the score cards the Russian judges WANTED to use at the Olympics. They're mounted on handy "persuasion tools" to encourage other judges to lower their scores as well." That one deserves a t-shirt! Randall had a great answer, too: "Gopher traps. Among the animal kingdom, gophers are statophiles, they love esoteric information and are fascinated by trivial numbers. When these are placed in a field inhabited by gophers, the little rodents will burrow right up to the number to read it (they are slightly nearsighted) and POW! it kills them with the spring loaded spike." So Randall gets a t-shirt from the NeatoShop, too! The answers to this and the other mystery items of the week will be posted at the What Is It? Blog on Sunday, and I'll update the contest post then.  

Love games and puzzles? Visit NeatoPuzzles for more!

These are the prices that would pop up in old cash registers to indicate what price had been entered on the manual numeric board. ~ "Don't make me send out the flying monkeys" XXL
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Those are Pop ups like used on turkeys to tell when they are done. These are for bar patrons to check BAC. They pop up when you've had enough. ~ Look Out Schrodinger's Cat, It's a Trap! Size XXL.
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These are the score cards the Russian judges WANTED to use at the Olympics. They're mounted on handy "persuasion tools" to encourage other judges to lower their scores as well.

Triforce Art size XL
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Golpher traps. Among the animal kingdom, golphers are statophiles, they love esoteric information and are fascinated by trivial numbers. When these are placed in a field inhabited by golphers, the little rodents will burrow right up to the number to read it (they are slightly nearsighted) and POW! it kills them with the sping loaded spike. A horrible death for a gentle inquisitive creature of nature, but we humans must jealously gaurd and maintain our precarious perch atop the food chain. Even the most insignificant threat must be dealt with in the harshest and most violent manner.

Statisticians do all the Standard deviations XL blue.
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These are shot put distance markers from the abandoned Jovian Olympic Games. It was abandoned not because of the tecnicalities involved but that the populace of Jupiter didnt want the IOC in thier back yard.

Hip, Hip, Array - XL, Black
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These are the first signs of sping...

You see each sign has a small spring on it..

Unfortunately, the signs of summer, autumn and winter are missing..

I Heart Physics 3x
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These are the first attempted mash-up of auctions and target shooting: Auctioneer Shooting. First person to hit the auctioneer with their one shot spring-loaded number won the auction! It was abandoned after they realized the auctioneers had a low-survival rate.

Hangin' with my Rummies, ash grey, Lg
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It's a game that police play to guess how drunk people are. The police gather at breath testing stations and hold up these to make a guess whilst the drivers are having sobriety tests. The closest to the drivers reading gets to book them in at the jail.
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These were used back in the late 1950's and early 1960's to determine if stewardesses were over or under the weight limit before flying. They were worn on their lapels as a way of 'shaming' the women into dropping the extra pounds. Hey, bullying has been around for decades, even centuries!
Pink Freud, men's large
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Oh wait, now I think they're counting aids for Floridian ballot-counters from 2000. It counts for .30 if two corners of the chad are detached, but just .01 if it's only dimpled.

Still Hip Hip Array in medium.
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Most people do not realize how the song " Do you know the way to San Jose ?"was what actually inspired Google to make maps that would get you there without having to stop and ask directions ( I know, a man was behind it) . They didn't have the I phone yet and the internet had not been invented by Al Gore so, they settled on printed maps. Due to the large crayon/pencil/pen shortage of the 1970's That is where these came in - people would have to put them on the map themselves in advance so they knew the distances between turns. This was very profitable to the printers as the maps were damaged from all the holes.
Protect your nuts, 3 xl
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I actually saw these in the Smithsonian Postal Museum. They're from the popular History Of Postage Rates exhibit and have long since been replaced with Comic Sans labels on cut-out strips of recycled bond paper. You can tell how old they are by the fact that the largest is .30 (wait, that may not be that old).

street fight,ash,xl
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Back in old timey times, way before PowerBall, they had these state lotteries on the Capitol steps and some states used these "random" number drawing machines where they'd have some little kid or centenarian war hero come up and push their choice of unmarked buttons and these little springy numbers would pop out to draw the winners. The decimal points? Bah, meaningless -- it was old timey times, they had just discovered decimals and tended to slap 'em on everywhere.

street fight,ash,xl
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Back in the time of civil war in America, prostitutes would advertise their "Rates" by holding up these little signs. In some areas, competition was fierce and this led to the prostitutes engaging in "Rate wars" among themselves just to get business. This is where the band "Cheap Trick" got it's name
protect your nuts 3 xl
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