The surprising thing, as Brown found out in her research, is that men's shame is actually not primarily inflicted by other men. Rather, it is the women in their lives:
... for men, the overarching message is that any weakness is shameful. And since vulnerability is often perceived as weakness, it is especially risky for men to practice vulnerability.
What Brown also discovered in the course of her research is that, contrary to her early assumptions, men's shame is not primarily inflicted by other men. Instead, it is the women in their lives who tend to be repelled when men show the chinks in their armor.
"Most women pledge allegiance to this idea that women can explore their emotions, break down, fall apart—and it's healthy," Brown said. "But guys are not allowed to fall apart." Ironically, she explained, men are often pressured to open up and talk about their feelings, and they are criticized for being emotionally walled-off; but if they get too real, they are met with revulsion.
Andy Hinds of The Atlantic has the post: Link
"My hands are of your colour; but I shame
To wear a heart so white."
He is distressed and guilty over the murder that he just committed, but she is ashamed that he shows such weakness.
Yup. This flows directly out of hypergamy.
Women say they want one thing when a closer examination shows this to be BS.