Costumes Are Not Consent

Meredith Placko over at Geeks Are Sexy wrote an eye-opener of a post about cosplayers (not just female cosplayers, mind you) who have to endure lewd and inappropriate behavior because of the costumes they wear:

Costumes are not consent. It’s a phrase you may be hearing a lot lately, and one we need to keep talking about. In the past few weeks, the internet has exploded with women speaking up about the treatment we receive at conventions and online. This isn’t a new problem that has suddenly presented itself. The issues have always been there. What is happening now is we finally feel we are allowed to speak up, that doing so will not result in us being ostracized from our community – because we are now acting as a community, a support structure, to create a safe environment for all costumers and convention goers.

A few weeks ago at PAX East an incident happened that would open the door for many costumers to come out and speak up. Meagan Marie, known for her amazing costumes as well as her presence within the gaming industry, encountered a situation that opened up many eyes to the way women are treated at conventions. During a press event, featuring several Lara Croft costumers, a journalist began asking some lewd questions of the ladies. When called out for his actions, he put the onus on the girls; saying that because they were dressed sexy, they were obviously okay with such questions being asked.

Read more about it over at Geeks Are Sexy, including what you can do to combat the growing problem: Link - Thanks Yan!


No, costumes are not consent, but put the people in costumes need to assume a little responsibility for how they present themselves, too. If you wear something tight, skimpy, short-skirted, fish-netted, killer boots, boobs smooshed up and hanging out, how do you think that is going to affect guys? Don't dress so provocatively and then act surprised or offended that you are arousing the sexually deprived nerds around you.
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"If they're groping women or saying terrible things just because a woman is dressed a certain way, then they aren't trying to be good guys."

No, that's a good point.I see what you mean. I guess i'm arguing from the standpoint that I am one of those guys who tries to walk the straight and narrow and do the best I can, so I resent it when others disregard what my feelings are in the name of,"tough deal with it".

But yeah, I guess the guys you're referring to aren't even trying to be good guys.....that's the point.And it's never ok to harass or grope. That being said,it does come down to mutual respect on both men and women's parts.Men don't have a right to harass, but women should be sensitive to the fact that men are visually stimulated.

"If someone told you that you can't dress a certain way or else they'd have the right to make you uncomfortable whether physically or emotional, you wouldn't be ok with it"

No that's true.But people shouldn't be looking for trouble either, and then complain when they find it.....It's not right when it happens (someone gets harassed, etc.)But it's also tempting fate to put yourself out there like that.

I live on a side of town that is not very nice (to some people). If I started repeatedly walking up and down my street at 3 in the morning, i'm sure sooner or later trouble would find me.Would that be right? No.Would it be fair? No. But would someone ask me at some point afterward,"What were you thinking?" and questioning my judgment? Absolutely.And why? Because I was acting irresponsibly. Just like it's irresponsible to dress like a whore and expect the whole world to treat you like a lady.
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It is strange, from my own point of view, but maybe ten years ago I didn't perceive this to be a problem at cons. Going as Angela from Spawn, usually garnered a lot of photos with people and compliments. But never gropes or lascivious remarks.
People were respectful.
If I could still rock the outfit today, a grope would be met with a swift whack from my seraphic staff.
Perhaps it would be considered assault. But maybe more people need to fight back.
Or
Instead of posting signs, they should include that on the badges. And as part of admission, there should be the understanding that you will be kicked from the con if you are acting like a tool.

FTR- as a Stormtrooper - when I am off on my own, I "patrol" the cons looking for that kind of behavior and set people straight. I know guys in my own garrison that now do this because I pointed it out to them. Some con-goers see Stormtroopers as a galactic police force, so when you are told to not do something from one of us, it weighs a bit more to that individual.
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No. We dont do anything like that. But it might be something that con organizers and the 501st members might want to work together on.
It was just something I started doing on my own. It was easier for me to tell someone "Hey thats not cool" when I am in my armor, than when I was out of armor.
There is the anonymity of wearing the armor. Every trooper looks the same.
Calling someone out when you are in your everyday street clothes, or dressed as a character that there may be few of at a con, is a little less anonymous and there is a slight fear of retaliation. That maybe that person may follow you around the con and try to start sh*t with you, only because you called them out on groping or lewdness.
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Wow, trying to follow all the threads makes one dizzy.

Is it ironic that the original article was posted at "Geeks are Sexy"?

Cosplay is a fantasy, where you can be whoever you want to be, even if you don't quite fit into the costume.

Saying, "They can't help it if their favourite characters dress like that" is like saying they're forced to dress sexy, as if someone twisted their arm to slide into the bodice / spandex / thong. Let's be honest: it's fun to dress up and to dress sexy.

How naïve would you be to think that you wouldn't stand out in a crowd? Of course cosplayers are seeking attention - that's part of the fun.

I don't think anybody commenting actually thinks that it's okay to grope and mistreat anyone. I think it's more of a "what did you expect would happen?" attitude.

When you objectify yourself, you are bound to be treated as an object. Yes, you may still be treated as an object wearing baggy pants, but the odds are much more in your favour.
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You know, I reread the posts over there.

And it seems to me MM is WILDLY over-reacting where many more mature women like Heidi Klum or Mila Kunis would have been funny, slick and just deflected/defused.

The whole thing reeks of her 1)trying to set herself as the Alpha Female of the Lara Group, 2)being offended an omega-male would skip them and dare talk to her, 3)not getting the joke, 4)both people getting their backs-up over a misunderstanding, 5)her getting him kicked out over it, and then 6)because that's not enough for her little princess ego, MM using it to throw a toxic-waif-narcissist hissy-fit on the internet.

I have the sneaking suspicion that she's out there Trolling Both the Women Feminazis and the White-Knight Men in an effort to gain some amount of Narcissistic Supply for herself.

Check out the definition and see for yourself: http://therawness.com/raw-concepts-narcissistic-supply/

PS: Scantily-clad character-dressed women trolling airportfuls of otherwise good, but sexless omega-male comic book nerds for insecurity-crutch approval-bump is about as low-market-value a woman can go; short of a hick-town strip club. I mean, that's not even night-clubbing it among equals or hotties. It's Bottom-Fishing. What's the M/F ratio there, 200:1?

-And then this brat throws a hissy when one guy finally predictably Does act badly. -SET-UP!

She's got to start hanging out with more strippers and Playmates to see just how tame her experiences have Actually been.

She'd probably just whine about them regardless, being a Special Snowflake Princess and all.
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