New Wedding Trend: You're Not Invited

You may be really happy that a friend is planning her wedding, and you might even have a gift picked out -but then comes the news: you didn't make the cut for the guest list. Trend-watchers are seeing more and more weddings that include the wedding planner sending out notices to friends to confirm that they are not expected to attend. The most likely reason is that smaller guest lists mean fewer costs.

“Nine out of 10 times, it’s because of lack of space – and the couple feels super guilty,” Tatiana Byron, founder of event planning service The Wedding Salon, told TODAY.com. “These are usually people they’re friendly with, but not close to.”

Tatiana’s clients have done everything from personally e-mailing and sending cards to acquaintances to having their wedding planner do the dirty work for them – call and apologize on the couple’s behalf. The response? An unsurprising mix of disappointment and anger.

“Some of their friends complain and criticize the couple, thinking the planner won’t tell the client,” explained Byron. As for those who deliver the bad news personally, it usually becomes a game of throwing the significant other under the bus. “The groom blames the bride, and the bride blames the groom.”

How about this idea: don't plan such an expensive wedding that you can't have all your friends there. Link -via Digg

(Image credit: Flickr user Flower Factor)


Why go through the rude process of telling people not to attend? In my youth, the entire town was invited to the wedding but only a select few were invited to the reception. Costs were minimized and everyone was included.
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My wife handled all the arrangements for our wedding and spent @ $5,000. We married in a Georgian church and had the reception in a family house. The musicians for the wedding were friends - violin, cello and flute - and most of the food was made by family and friends. It was much like the weddings of her youth my grandmother described: very simple community efforts. While we certainly thought of it as a very special day, we didn't insist that it be perfect or enchanting or any of those things wedding planners use to separate their clients from their money. We have very fond memories of our wedding day.
Weddings have become an industry and the victims are the brides and to a somewhat lesser extent the grooms. There is a great deal of emphasis on the wedding as a social event rather than a ceremony for the couple mostly, I think, for the purpose of selling services. My wife has helped coordinate a number of weddings and she says one of her biggest priorities is to keep the bride from crying.
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