If there's one thing that bothers me about fortune cookies, it's that they're so hard to relate to. It's like they're written by someone with very different values or priorities. Thankfully, Jeff Wysaski has fixed that. At the link, you can read 13 other fortunes that he wrote.
The cartoonist Gahan Wilson once did a comic which shows various Chinese restaurant customers fleeing in despair, broken down and weeping, etc. The restaurant owner, speaking to an underling: "You've got to ease up on those fortunes!"
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