Craziest Excuses for Calling in Sick

I'm sorry bot my anal glaucoma is acting up.

Had an employee once who we questioned as to why he hadn't made it to ANY of his stops on his afternoon route (mind you, we knew exatly where he had been, as he had been seen at his favorite tavern drinking beer and playng pool - - with the company truck parked in the back parking lot no less!) and he insisted that he had had to take his son out of school at the school's insistence because he had hair lice and spent the afternoon getting him treated. The manager decided he wanted to see just how far this guy would go with his lies, and asked him to bring in some sort of documentation from the doctor or something. o the next day, this idiot shows up at the shop with his son (who he actually HAD kept out of school this day) - and he has actually taken the step of SHAVING HIS 8-YEAR-OLD SON'S HEAD to make his story sound better. For "documentation", he had brought a receipt from the local grocery store for anti-lice shampoo (that was time stamped for about 20 minutes before he showed up). At this point we all just laughed in his face and told him we knew damn well he had been at the tavern all afternoon and told the kid not to let his moron father suck him into his stupid lies anymore....

Why do people feel the need to create a story? Keep it simple.

Well its more of a story. She called me at 2 am and said her blood pressure was over 300 so she wasnt going to be able to make it. Told her to bring me a doctors note(I was concerned of course but how the heck could she even get to a phone with that high of a number?). She then brought in a note from MY family physician and claimed "oh thats my heart surgeons" and it said in cute bubbly big writing ANN CANT WORK TODAY. that was it.