In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

Redditor Xineph asks this brilliant question--no doubt the topic of many future doctoral dissertations.

I agree with those redittors who think that it would ultimately come down to Andrew Jackson vs. Teddy Roosevelt.  And if I had to place a bet, I'd predict a final victory by Jackson, largely due to the initiative he would gain early in the fight because to his sheer aggressiveness. This was a man who got into duels just to relieve boredom. The whole scenario, which saner people might think confusing, would make immediate sense to Jackson--if not be appealing.

Other redditors are making arguments for Washington, Lincoln, Eisenhower, Taylor, Grant and, oddly enough, Coolidge.

Who do you think would prevail?

Link -via American Digest