Language X is Essentially Language Y Under Conditions Z

There are about 6,000 languages in the world, but according to this long list compiled by John Cowan, all languages are basically the same.

Here's "Language X is essentially language Y under conditions Z":

English is essentially Low German plus even lower French minus any sense of culture. -- Danny Weir

Scots is essentially English, only funnier. -- Thomas Leigh

Danish is essentially drunken Norwegian. -- John Cowan

Spanish is what happened when Moors tried to learn Latin and said "screw it." -- Charles Lavergne

Cantonese is essentially what everyone else in China calls swearing. --Kiri Aradia Morgan

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