Forget Spanking! Mom Chose Facebook Shaming as Punishment

When her 12-year-old daughter wanted to post a photo of herself wishing she could drink vodka, author and mom ReShonda Tate Billingsley decided to teach her a lesson with what could be the most powerful parental disciplinary weapon ever devised by man: Facebook shaming.

At first, it might seem like your typical case of modern parental discipline: A Texas mom has prohibited her 12-year-old daughter from using the photo-sharing site Instagram after she caught the girl posting a photo of herself holding an unopened bottle of vodka with a caption that read “I sure wish I could drink this.”

But it’s what ReShonda Tate Billingsley did next that has people buzzing: Billinglsey, a prominent Houston-area author, had her daughter post a new picture of herself to Instagram earlier this month holding a sign reading, “Since I want to post photos of me holding liquor, I am obviously not ready for social media and will be taking a hiatus until I learn what I should (and) should not post. Bye-bye.” [...]

“I thought she knew better, but in her mind, she thought, ‘I’m not drinking, what’s the problem?’” Billingsley said. What the girl didn’t realize, she said, was that the photo might still send the wrong message to a future employer or prove attractive to a predator, who “can see it and think this is a little girl who likes to drink.”

“Because she had been warned,” she added, “I felt I needed to hit her where it hurt most.”

And hurt it did. After she explained the punishment to her daughter, the girl was “devastated” for a day, Billingsley said.

“She actually asked for a spanking instead; she begged for a spanking,” she said.

Link

Previously on Neatorama: Dad Shot Laptop Over Daughter's Facebook Post


I agree.However, I don't think a child should have a facebook page at all-whether if they are 12 or 13. Really, what's the difference in maturity between the age of 12 and 13?I don't see any.My daughter is 14 and had 4 facebook pages and each time I've found out about it I deactivated them each time I found out about it.I've also changed my windows password- maybe twice. Little did I know she was not accessing facebook at home.Kids have many ways to access social media and some parents do their best, but if there are social media sites,such as facebook, allowing kids under the age of 18 to create facebook pages (and not verifying it) when the parents don't want them with one or didn't consent to it what can you do?!Shouldn't we,as parents,have a choice on whether we want our children to be exposed to social media. All kids are NOT mature enough to handle social media. When children are visiting relatives and friends you don't always know exactly what they are doing when their children are away from them. Parents don't always have control over these situations.Blame social media-The proper age for social media should be 18...BOTTOM LINE!
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Jill, you're dead right. The child must have lied to get on facebook and since the mother knew the child had lied she had condoned this action.

BTW most kids wouldn't think the kid had been shamed by this. They would feel the kid had been shamed by having a jerk for a mother.
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Anyone else noticed the article says 12 year old? Um, Facebook has (or had) a policy that you had to be 13 to join FB. That is the first offense that led to the second. Why allow the child to lie to join and then punish for not being mature enough to post appropriately?
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John: you completely changed my mind. At first I was all "man there's going to be a bunch of softee anti-spanking hippies on these comments"...but honestly, you pointed out a true point. Why would she do the same thing she's trying to get her daughter to avoid?

tayatayataya: I am so terrified of having kids because of the fine line between being their friend/cool parent in an attempt to stay "in the loop" with them and know what's really going on with them instead of having them lie to me...I hope to really try to be a PARENT (not a friend) but at some point have the conversation with them in which I share some of my mistakes as a youth, and how I needed my parents to hear/understand me, and when they did, it really helped me. Hopefully that will let my kid know when they need someone to tell something to without judgement, to come my way. TERRIFYING!!!
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John Farrier, what you wrote is truth. Not only counterproductive but its a fast way to get your kid to hate/not trust you. For all the parents agreeing, get off you butts an learn some parenting skills. Embarrassing your kid is not going to solve anything, trust me.
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good parenting starts in the house behind closed doors. not in the face of the public unless author mom wants to get noticed thanks to her childs faults. Whatever, but i think this is just silly.
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Good point, John. This becomes something far more public than just a stupid photo. Maybe she's hoping future employers will take sympathy on the girl with the crazy mom.
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Billingsley is right: parents should discourage their children from posting photos and text online that would cause them shame and embarrassment later in life.

And that is why she should never have posted this photo of her daughter, nor conducted media interviews about it. Her actions were counterproductive.
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I agree, Stigs. There was no reason to publicize the ban from social media.
I'm really getting tired of parents airing their grievances with their child and calling it "discipline". It's not. For me, it is proof that the parents aren't ready for social media either.
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Using shame and ridicule to discipline a child is more likely than not to have other-than-foreseen, bad consequences, like the child bullying and ridiculing others. Enjoy, mommy dearest.
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She could have forced her to drink it - pretty sure the day after would have been a lesson and a half. Only thing I use Vodka for is adding to my screenwash for de-icing. Vile stuff.
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