The Ancient Tale of a Great Hero Who Fixed the Family's Internet Connection

If you're the one person in a family that knows basic computer maintenance, you'll pay for it. Oh, you will pay. But generations to follow will remember your heroic deeds. They will name children after you and repeat your legends to awe-struck audiences. Come, now, and hear the tale of one such giant of a man, as told by Mike Lacher:

But then one gray morning did Internet Explorer 6 no longer load The Google. Refresh was clicked, again and again, but still did Internet Explorer 6 not load The Google. Perhaps The Google was broken, the people thought, but then The Yahoo too did not load. Nor did Hotmail. Nor USAToday.com. The land was thrown into panic. Internet Explorer 6 was minimized then maximized. The Compaq Presario was unplugged then plugged back in. The old mouse was brought out and plugged in beside the new mouse. Still, The Google did not load.

Some in the kingdom thought the cause of the darkness must be the Router. Little was known of the Router, legend told it had been installed behind the recliner long ago by a shadowy organization known as Comcast. Others in the kingdom believed it was brought by a distant cousin many feasts ago. Concluding the trouble must lie deep within the microchips, the people of 276 Fernadale Street did despair and resign themselves to defeat.