If a girl wants to dress like a boy this Halloween, that seems like a good lesson in busting gender stereotypes learned. But what if your boy wants to dress up as a princess?
That's the dilemma facing one family in Glendora, California, this Halloween:
"My first reaction was 'He wants to be a princess? We're there!' " said mama Anna. But almost everybody she talked with about Luc's intention told her, "Whoa; that's a bad, bad, bad idea."
For a girl who grew up wanting to dress like a boy, Luc's choice felt like a blow against stereotyping. "But I'm trying to leave my inner activist at home," she said, "and just do what's best for my son.
"It's one thing to say 'Son, you can be anything you want. Our society needs to be less uptight.' "
It's another thing entirely to consider how a boy in a princess dress will be treated when all the other boys are trick-or-treating in Superman or Power Rangers costumes.
"I want to encourage him to stand up and be himself," she said. "But my 4-year-old is too little and too fragile to know where the social boundaries are. And I don't want his feelings hurt on what should be one of his happiest nights."
Oh, did I mention that the parents are two gay moms?
Sandy Banks of The Los Angeles Times has the story: Link (Photo: Gina Ferazzi/LA Times)Anna and Louisa remember the sea of "Yes on 8" signs that sprouted around them in 2008, when the measure banning gay marriage was on the ballot. Gay marriage was rejected that year by voters, just months after the couple officially wed on June 17, the first day gay marriage was legal in California.
Now, Anna envisions those folks snubbing her trick-or-treating princess-boy.
"I imagine that when those Glendorans shut their doors, they're going to say 'See, that's why lesbians shouldn't raise children.' "
I grew up in a very religious-conservitive community.
I also remember having "womanless" beauty pageants at church where men would dress in drag and compete.
Would the difference be it was satire (in a way) because we were purposely breaking the gender stereotypes for comedic effect and not because we genuinely wanted to dress up as females? I dunno.
I would argue that many kids don't get to be the exact thing they want to be for Halloween many times and that picking something else more gender neutral, that he would enjoy just as much, would alleviate the concern and would leave his identity intact.
The kid is four! Let him dress up however he wants.
I always wanted to dress as a boy, being a girl here, to be like my brothers, still prefer jeans to a dress, but I grew up ok. I knew guys who dressed drag for Halloween and had great fun, yes one or two were gay, but others were straight... sowhat??? enjoy and have fun life is too short to stress this.
Dress the lad up, get photos, and have fun.
I don't know if it's ethically correct to make your kid suffer more than necessary in order to maintain and instill the values you believe in in him, but human nature being what it is I think they're correct about what the neighbors will say.
I will 'get over it" when ti doesn't happen. And if yo think that it's "just because they're gay" I recommend you look back to what was refereed to be "toenail gate" on the news and the story about the child who wanted to cross as Daphne from scooby doo.
In short you're wrong. It is only in part because they're gay. I have to ask you if this was happening because they were black would you feel the same way?
It's really easy for someone who does not suffer persecution to say "shut up I don't want to hear it.
The toenail painting has more to do with the idea that the parents may be directly influencing their kid to gender-bend, rather than providing direction in their parenting.
The mom's reaction was "We're there"! What exactly did she mean by that? Halloween cross-dressing happens all the time, and it's no big deal. So why is this even remotely newsworthy? It's pretty minor stuff.
"I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off."
How hard is that to understand?
Geez.
Having said that, they're over-thinking it. Next week, he's going to want to be a dump truck, then a witch, then Spiderman, etc. I think they're more worried about how the adults will treat their family than their kid being bullied.