Back in the USSR

I'm pretty sure most russians don't consider Malenkov part of the line of sovereign leaders, and that Khrushchev followed Stalin. It all has to do with the hair, you see. Ever since Catherine the Great took over for Peter the Great, the pattern has been:

Catherine I - Full-haired
Peter II - Bald (shaved for wig)
Anna I - Full-haired
Ivan IV - Bald (infant Emperor)
Elizabeth - Full-haired
Peter III - Bald (shaved for wig)
Catherine II - Full-haired
Paul I - Bald(ing)
Alexander I - Full-haired
Nicholas I - Bald
Alexander II - Full-haired
Alexander III - Bald
Nicholas II - Full-haired
Lenin - bald
Stalin - Full-haired
Khrushchev - Bald
Brezhnev - Full-haired
Andropov - Bald(ing)
Chernenko - Full-haired
Gorbachev - Bald
Yeltsin - Full-haired
Putin - Bald(ing)
Medvedev - Full-haired

This also dictates that the next President should be bald, giving Putin an excellent opportunity to regain (formal) power. Especially since his main opponent, Mikhail Prokhorov has a head full of hair...

You could have saved a lot of time by just using the men's last names, like I did.

Good one, mental floss, you must have chosen one of the more retarded transliteration conventions, especially in its half-assed rendering of Lenin's middle name.
I spent the first 5 minutes figuring out how "Ilyich" could possibly be spelt, the next five minutes wondering how "Vissarionovitch" would be spelt. Boy was I pleasantly surprised when the computer showed me how slow and dumb I was!

I knew all but three but couldn't get the damn spelling right.