Patently Bad Idea: Centrifugal Birthing Machine

Because childbirth isn't painful and horrifying enough on its own, I guess, G.B. Blonsky, et. al. decided to provide "civilised women" with this medieval torture device birthing apparatus that applies centrifugal force to the mother, thereby allowing her a "quick and normal delivery." I shudder to think that this was ever tested on a person. Ptak Science Books has more images and information, should you be morbidly fascinated enough to look.

Link

Newest 5

Newest 5 Comments

It seems highly impractical, but wouldn't it aid difficult deliveries? It might be better for the baby than forceps or vacuum extractors. It does have a baby-catching net.

Maybe a maternal bungee jump would be better. Or some high-G turns in an F-22. I'm going to mother hen these ideas overnight before calling my patent attorney.

Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)

I dunno. She looks pretty happy about it.

Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)

Think you'll find that many bizarre patents were made simply to show that the patent office has to grant patents to anything (in the U.K., at least). Just a hobby for loonies.

Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)

I bet by the time I'm dead nearly every birth will be done using c-section. There will be machines and at least 20 different highly trained professionals involved. There will still be a few unfit mothers who choose backwoods vaginal births. Protective services will swoop in and pluck up those unfortunate babes.