His parents' rejection erased the closeness Zwerg once felt with them. "I had a lot of anger toward them," he says. "How can they treat me this way? This was the most meaningful period of my life. How could they not understand that?"
Zwerg took out his anger on himself and on others. After the beating, he returned to college but had trouble being close to anyone. "The two people I loved the most hurt me, so, by God, I wasn't going to love anybody," Zwerg says. "I might meet a girl who I felt was special. One minute, I'd tell her that I loved her, and the next, I told her I didn't want to see her again."
Zwerg began to drink heavily during his senior year, and at one time he contemplated suicide. Depressed, he put on his jacket and walked to a pier near campus.
He still doesn't remember what happened next. "I remember going out to the pier, but I do not remember coming back," he says. "I awoke the next day in my room, and when I put on my jacket, a straight-edge razor was in a pocket. I didn't remember putting it there."
Six months of therapy helped, but Zwerg has spent the fifty years since then coming to grips with his experience, his family's rejection, and the spiritual letdown he experienced after his time with the Freedom Riders. Link -via Fark
(Image credit: WGBH)
See also: the documentary Freedom Riders from PBS. Link
Ryan: Good luck on the quest. As a former seeker, I would recommend reading Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Lila by Robert Pirsig. (If you haven't read them already.)
I have Lila by Pirsig and I thought it was a great story. I should read his other; Motorcycle Maintenance and the Art of Zen
My library:
http://apps.facebook.com/booktracker/app/person/712940257/