Name That Weird Invention!

It's the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of crazy ideas for the Museum of Possibilities. Can you come up with a name for this one? Commenters suggesting the funniest and cleverest names will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop.

Contest rules: one entry per comment, though you can enter as many as you like. Please make a selection of the T-shirt you want (may we suggest the Science T-shirt, Funny T-shirt, and Artist-designed T-shirt categories?) alongside your entry. If you don't select a shirt, then you forfeit the prize. Good luck!

Update: We have winners! First place goes to amanderpanderer, who called it "Petal Stool...you know, for putting women up on." Ha! Second place to Mysfyt for "The Sit and Stay-Man. (Petal Powered)." Both win t-shirts from the NeatoShop!