Name That Weird Invention!

It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of crazy ideas in his Museum of Possibilities posts. What should we call these? The commenters suggesting the funniest and wittiest names will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop. Start your brainstorming and leave an entry in the comments.

Contest rules: one entry per comment, though you can enter as many as you like. Please make a selection of the T-shirt you want (may we suggest the Science T-shirt, Funny T-shirt, and Artist-designed T-shirt categories?) alongside your entry. If you don't select a shirt, then you forfeit the prize. Have fun and good luck!

Update: First prize goes to Deo for Espadrills. The second place winner is amanderpanderer, who called them SKIL-lettos (the newest SKIL multi-tool). Both win t-shirts from the NeatoShop!

Honorable mentions:
AWB, Drillettos
Patrick Girouard, Swiss Army Shoes
SnarKatestic, Handy Heels
Spiffyspork, Mrs. Fixits