Pre-wrecked Autos

For this Friday’s Museum of Possibilities, I’ve decided to spare readers from having to read a lengthy text – occasionally longwinded and self-referential – by offering my concept in comics format. The reader will only need to scan a very few sentences to get the point. While I may not possess a perfect understanding of all the factors contributing to the ludicrously high cost of auto insurance – jacked up in part because of the nation’s car chassis worship – I am glad to suggest a solution: Automobiles could be pre-wrecked at the factory.

Auto manufacturers already have the necessary expertise to design robots capable of pounding, denting, “keying,” and scratching a new automotive finish without compromising functionality or safety. Engineers would be able to design underlying structures so that wiring, airflow and access by mechanics remained intact. Would I buy a pre-dented car? No, not unless it became the new standard for automotive beauty. Until then, I would let others be early adopters.


They say when two cars arrive at a four-way stop, the car with the most body damage has the right-of-way. You know another ding won't matter as much to them!

Damaged cars are less likely to be stolen, too. I should know -I've driven damaged cars most of my life!
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The funny part of this is, this is totally true and has been happening for ages - not with cars, but with clothes, especially jeans. I still find it really funny that I've for example seen jeans sold with a piece of sandpaper so you can modify (i.e. destroy) them to your personal liking.
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I am enjoying these post quite a bit now that I understand that they are just a bit of Friday silliness.

Oh, and Miss C., right-of-way always belongs to the biggest, ugliest car.
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That would be an interesting incentive to buy a new car that comes with a ballpeen hammer with a handle colour of your choice. Just that idea there wants me to buy a new car so I can trash it in advance.
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while i do see the point, you'll muck up the aerodynamics and to some extent the handling - a rigid body is essential to good handling.

i've done something similar to the interior of my car - i ripped out the stereo and removed the steering column cover. it makes my car look as if it has already been stolen and/or robbed. an amp in the trunk provides the tunes, with a stereo headphone jack hidden away in the hole where the stereo used to be.
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Great! I love this concept! I suppose my 10 years old, pretty dinged-up car can pass for a brand new model? :)

Mie: I completely agree with you, and was thinking of the exact same thing. Faded, ripped-up jeans.

Steve: If you run for office, I'd vote for you!! :)
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