Cutting Open an Animal and Crawling Inside to Survive During a Storm in the Wild

Have you ever had to cut open an animal and crawl inside in order to survive during a storm? You know -- like how Han Solo cut open a tauntaun and shoved Luke Skywalker inside during a snowstorm on Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back?

No? Well then, have I got a blog for you! Cutting Open an Animal and Crawling Inside to Survive a Storm in the Wild is a blog devoted entirely providing practical instructions on choosing the right animal, the right blade, and making the most of your gushy, gory survival experience. There are many animals to choose from, including the luckdragon -- a creature from the book and movie The Neverending Story. Approach the luckdragon with the right bait:

Falkor in particular is trusting of human children. Thus, if you get lost taking a class of kindergarteners to search for Uyulala the Southern Oracle, and a storm that may or may not be the work of the evil sorceress Xayide is rolling in from the north, have one of them summon Falkor.

With luck, he will find you, and when he does, his luck will run out. Use a long serrated blade to saw him open from chin to tail. Work fast, this will be a traumatic moment for the kids. Consider distracting them by pretending that a rock in the distance is the werewolf Gmork coming to steal their souls.

After the incision is made, remove the guts and herd the children inside.

Link via Nerdcore | Image: Warner Bros.