Wikipedia Explains Rap Music

The problem with rap today is that mere mortals can't possibly understand the lyrics of the song. Thankfully, Wikipedia's WikiProject Songs comes to our rescue.

Aaron Lefkove of The Awl has the scoop:

Earlier this week a link to the Wikipedia synopsis of the 1994 Warren G and Nate Dogg hit "Regulate," from the "Above The Rim" soundtrack, bounced around the internet. The summary gives a shot-by-shot breakdown of two young thugs out on an all night sex, drug, homicide and gambling romp. The entry also provides a great summation of the "G-Funk" sound, a style of music that sits comfortably at the nexus of mid-period Parliament and Michael McDonald's solo 80s output, wherein rhythm, bass, and treble elements are all interchangeable. The description is dry and academic in tone and, the more times you read it, riddled with condescending and likely ironic latent racism. Or, as one acquaintance prefaced it when forwarding the link, “it’s written in language white people can understand."

For example:

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.[6]

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood[7], where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he is being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question. (Source)

I have only one thought about the whole thing: oh, please, please, please let this be a meme!

Link

Previously on Neatorama: Freestyle Rap Battle Translated Into Plain English