San Jose State University's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is for the worst possible opening line for a novel. Entrants don't have to actually write the novel -- just the first line. Here's this year's winning sentence by Molly Ringle of Seattle:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.
You can read the runners-up at the link. http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/ via Marginal Revolution | Image: National Science Foundation Previously: The 2007, 2008, and 2009 competitions.
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When they're intentionally bad, they're just too outlandish to be funny.
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Would be funnier if they came from actual novels
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